Need a Miracle
by FlowerPot21
Summary: Eric knows it'll take something short of a miracle to get the truth out of her...EC, hints of RN
1. One

_Got the EC mojo working again! This is going to be a long one, but it is a Christmas fic. Supernova will be updated as time permits, and Carillon Beach will be dusted off and worked on soon. Enjoy.

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Need a Miracle

**One**

He is working on Christmas Eve because he drew the short straw. Being an officer of the law is a job that unfortunately requires people always working, regardless of the holiday. He is working and they pulled someone from nights to work this shift with him. He doesn't mind, really, but he certainly does lament the fact that his family will be asking questions about he and Calleigh.

Christmas Eve dinner will be the fourth even he's shown up for without Calleigh. The last three times, not really wanting to tell the truth, he's said that she was working.

Of course his mother and sisters didn't believe that; he is a fantastically terrible liar, and they all know it. But for his sake, they've left him alone about it. He really doesn't want to discuss his back and forth relationship with Calleigh with anyone but Calleigh.

But she refuses to talk to him about it all.

He thinks that perhaps if he'd done better by her, then they'd be spending what would have been their second Christmas together.

Eric can see them now, walking down the street together, hand in hand with Calleigh leading him, going into store after store looking for Christmas gifts for everyone, on a list with a scale of importance. Actually, he thinks he might have kidnapped her, tricked her into taking time off from work and taking her away to some place snowy, so that she can experience a real Christmas. He thinks he would have taken her to Russia to see the other half of his family. His Russian relatives would love Calleigh as much as his mother's side of the family.

The fear of spending another holiday alone is a fear he'd thought he'd banished when he began his relationship with Calleigh. Eric loved spending time with her, he savored the everyday moments that he had with her in his presence, in his arms, all around him. The moments they spent apart were few and far between when they were together, and he finally had someone to cook for other than himself. Things were good, very good between them.

At least, that's what he'd thought.

While he is probably the worst liar in the world, she is a master at avoidance. She's been holed up in the lab for a few months, and it's given her plenty of opportunities to avoid him, or to have a brief work conversation and nothing else. She is elusive, too, he's never able to find her unless he calls or texts her, and then out of the blue, she appears, giving him that business like, yet tempting smile. Then, just like that, she's off again.

Eric just wants answers, a reason why. He thinks he deserves at least that much, after having a false sense that everything was just fine between them.

He may get the chance to talk to her sooner than he thinks.

He stops just short of the entrance to the ballistics lab when he finds that Calleigh is working too. She wasn't on for today when he checked the schedule last night, and what's more, he expected that she would be spending some time with her father.

Eric always asked about Duke, and she would, much like everything else remotely her-family-related, dodge the question and become irritated by his asking. Calleigh never liked that he was trying, in subtle ways, to get her to connect with her family, and when he discovered that it bothered her deeply, he stopped asking.

"_You-you're not used to that," she said as she rested her head onto his chest in bed. "Your family is very close with each other. You...your family is...perfect, and you don't know anything else. It's not that simple for everyone."_

_He linked his fingers with hers and kissed her forehead._

"Carina_, my family is far from perfect," he said. _

"_I don't mean it that way," she said, looking up at him. "I mean your family...is the ideal. Mom and dad love each other, you and your sisters are close, you were...privileged."_

_He raised an eyebrow at her, but she only grinned._

"_Oh c'mon, love," she teased. "I've spent the night with you at your parents' house, which is fabulous, so don't even try it."_

"_Cal...we were taken care of, yes," he conceded. "But I wouldn't say privileged."_

"_That's only because you're modest like your father," she sighed. _

"_Even still, families aren't perfect," he reminded her. "I have a biological father who's a lieutenant in the Russian mob...I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty messed up. Wouldn't you agree?"_

"_That disturbing fact aside-"_

"_No, Calleigh, don't skirt around that one, babe."_

_Calleigh pouted a bit._

"_Babe...don't pout."_

"_Alright, fine. It's weird, but..."_

"_Nope, but nothing," he chuckled as he kissed her pouting lips. "I know that things were hard for you growing up, but...you gotta count your blessings, too, you know?"_

_She looked away. "What if there are none to count?"_

_That he couldn't answer, nor tease her about._

Those are moments that he likes thinking about. Simple moments like relaxing in bed with her, or having dinner and a movie, or even playing a game of chess, which he always let her kill him in because she was cocky about her skills, and he secretly planned to one day just plain old kick her cute little ass. And then there were more sensual moments, like always admiring her calves. How many times had he skimmed his fingers along those calves? Felt them wrap around him when they made love? Too many exquisite, intimate times for him to care about a number.

Those images of her, among many others, have been hard to get out of his head.

That's how he knows he's in love with her.

Eric walks up to the doorway and he knocks.

Calleigh turns round, and she grins slightly.

"Hey you," she says. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question," he chuckles. "I thought you'd be with your dad or something."

"Not this year," she says softly, then she smiles. "And I thought you'd be with your family."

"I am, this evening," he explains.

"Good," she smiles. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"I know, same here," he says, thinking that things shouldn't be this awkward between them.

They both fall silent for a few moments, until his phone dings, signaling a text.

He takes out his phone and checks it:

**Make sure to get all casework to court before end of business 4:30 PM.**

**Pass on to Calleigh. -H**

"What is it?"

"Nothing," he shrugs. "Just H. He said to get all of our casework to court by the end of the day. I have some evidence and files ready. What about you?"

"Oh um..." She pauses and pushes her hair behind her ears as she goes over to her workbench which doubles as a very cluttered desk. "Yeah...but I'll take them."

"No, I'm on my way out now, to get it over with. It's almost quitting time, so..."

"I'll ride with you," she says quickly. "If you don't mind."

"No," he says. "I've got the rest of the team's files ready to go, so..."

"Okay," she says, taking off her lab coat. "I'll meet you in the garage."

He nods.

After about ten minutes of waiting, he hears heels pounding onto the floor, and he knows it's Calleigh.

He takes the boxes from her and puts them into the back with the others.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

/\/\/\/\

Eric is regretting his decision to let Calleigh drive.

The problem is, she can't drive. For some reason, she believes that basic traffic rules and etiquette don't apply to her. She speeds, tailgates, changes lanes without signals...when they were together, he drove her around, and she thought that he was just being sweet, but really, he was doing it for his own personal safety. Ryan calls her Cruella behind her back.

They got to the courthouse in record time, even with Christmas shopping traffic, and they both signed in evidence and turned in files to the clerk. It took about thirty minutes total, and then they headed off. They both clocked out because their shift had only been from six to two. During Christmas, the shifts get pushed back. So for days, instead of coming in at eight, they come in at six, and for split shift, from six to eight, then from eleven to seven, and for nights and grave, eight to two and then the lab is closed on Christmas, but the station is still open and the same shifts apply there.

"So, dinner's at your parents' house?" Calleigh asks.

"Yeah," he says. "You know you're always invited."

"Thanks," she grins. "But...I think I'm gonna stay in. Watch Charlie Brown and _It's a Wonderful Life_."

Eric chuckles. "Over my mother's empanadas and famous hot chocolate?"

"With the chili peppers?"

"Yep. You know you want to," he teases.

She sighs. "Hmm, I do love that hot chocolate..."

"C'mon, it'll be nice," he says. "Besides, you'll save me from having to explain...us."

At that, she frowns and glances at him.

"Eric...what have you been telling your family?"

"Nothing," he shrugs. "I...I only tell them that you're working. That's it, I promise."

Calleigh sighs. "Your mother and sisters are smarter than that."

"I know they know it's BS," he says.

"And now they think that I'm a workaholic," she huffs. "Nice, Eric. You know that Teresa and Nina already hate me. You've now given them another reason."

"What? My sisters don't hate you," he says indignantly. "I-I wouldn't call it _hate_..."

"Okay, what would you call it then?"

"_Strong dislike_-"

"Oh, don't give me that," she hisses.

They lapse into silence for quite some time, before Eric spots a bank that's actually open.

"Calleigh, can you pull in right here?" He asks. "I need to get some cash."

"Oh, sure," she says.

She cuts in front of another driver, then she turns into the driveway of the bank. There are people leaving, and they've gotten in just in time. The ATM is closed, so he will have to go inside.

She kills the engine, and they get out and head inside.

"What are you coming in for?" He asks.

"I like the popcorn," she grins, and he rolls his eyes.

The lights are dim, and the bank manager is piddling around behind the teller stations.

"We-we're closing," the manager announces.

"I know, but I'll be quick," Eric promises. "Please, sir?"

The manager sighs. "Sure."

"Thanks."

Calleigh goes over and she smiles as she picks up a bag and begins to scoop up the last of the popcorn. She and Eric both bank at Miami Shore Mutual, and every time she comes in, she has to have a bag of popcorn. They don't pop the cheap stuff, they pop gourmet popcorn that is delicious, and she always leaves with a couple of bags.

"Eric, you want some popcorn?"

There is no answer, and she furrows her eyebrows.

"Eric?"

"Cal...babe, whether or not I want some popcorn is the least of our problems..."

She rolls her eyes when he let that endearment slip.

"Wha-our problems?" She asks quietly to herself as she turns. "What are you-oh..."

She drops her bag of popcorn.

Eric is being held at gunpoint by Montell Jackson, the bank manager who has a Ruger, and his assistant, Kyle Larson, who is holding an automatic rifle. Even though they are evenly matched bodies wise, Eric and Calleigh both know that to fight them would be a costly error, as neither of them have their weapons.

But that is only the first of three mistakes.

They went to court in her car, not the hummer, and the second mistake is that they both left their badges in the car.

Damn.

Calleigh puts her hands up, and Kyle comes over and grabs her arm.

"Move," he commands. "We're not going to hurt you. C'mon get moving."

"You too," Montell instructs. "Let's go. Now."

Now this is just utterly unbelievable.

Christmas Eve. Two bank employees robbing their own institution. Eric and Calleigh caught in the middle without weapons and badges.

How is it that the both of them combined have the kind of luck that drags in the doldrums of life?

Calleigh and Eric look at each other as they are forcefully ushered into the vault.

"Give us your purse, lady."

Calleigh hands over her two hundred and fifty dollar Coach purse with sadness in her heart. Everything, her whole life is in the purse: her planner, makeup, house keys, phone, wallet...everything. Never in her life has she ever been robbed, mugged, or caught in a robbery. There is a first for everything, she supposes, but this is extreme.

"Give us your car keys and your cell phone," Montell demands of Eric.

Eric takes out his phone and hands it over, then he tosses Kyle the car keys.

Kyle rummages through Calleigh's purse, and finally, he dumps it, frustrated with the cavernous purse, and all of Calleigh personal effects fall to the hard, marble floor. He picks up her phone and keys.

"Who's car is it?"

"Mine," Calleigh says.

Montell tosses Eric's keys back to him.

Montell holds them at gunpoint while Kyle empties out the cash.

Eric instinctively, gently takes Calleigh's hand and pulls her closer to him and she doesn't hesitate. She moves close enough to where he steps slightly in front of her, becoming a shield if they have the kind of robbers who are impulsive, jumpy, trigger happy, or sociopaths who can care less about loss of life.

Eric tries to work out the logistics of how he would go about distracting them enough to perhaps at least get Calleigh out, but it's not going to work. They don't even have the knife to bring to this gun fight. Any move he makes will not matter because if not one, the other will take a shot at them, and the only exit is blocked. He doesn't want to risk it, because Calleigh is strong, but against two men, she won't make it. He wouldn't dare sic her on the other one.

It's lose-lose.

Christmas music is playing over the intercom..._Jingle Bell Rock_.

He feels Calleigh grip his suit jacket tightly into her fists, and then her forehead resting onto his shoulder. She's having an anxiety attack, not from the situation, but from the small vault. She's become claustrophobic since the fires, she has nightmares about it every now and then, and when they were sharing a bed, he would be up with her until she calmed, give her water, and a sleep pill and hold her until she drifted off again. Her anxiety attacks are few and far between; after the poisoning, that same evening, she'd had an attack, and he had to take her to the doctor, and they put her on oxygen, and found that her lungs had become irritated. He was so worried about her, and she had to stay overnight for observation. Alexx dropped by after her shift and she told him to take care of Calleigh, and to try to limit their visits to the ER to at least once a year, she was so tired of seeing either one or both of them in Dade General.

She needs her inhaler, and Eric eyes it on the floor near her purse.

She's hyperventilating now, and he faces her.

"Cal..."

"What's wrong with her?" Montell asks.

"She's having an anxiety attack," Eric explains. "She needs her inhaler."

"E-E-Eric...I'm...f-f-fine..."

"Babe, you need it," Eric insists, then he turns back to Montell. "It's right there...I'm not going to rush you, alright? She just needs her inhaler."

Montell, sees that the woman is indeed having trouble breathing, and he nods.

"Okay," he concedes. "Slowly."

Eric nods, then he moves slowly, the gun trained at his head as he moves toward Calleigh's purse. He picks up her inhaler from the mess of things on the floor, then he goes back to her and she takes it and uses it.

"Better?" He asks.

Calleigh nods.

She hates the way the medicine tastes, but it opens up her airways.

She exhales, then she takes a deep breath and lets it out again.

Kyle finishes packing up the money, then he closes up the bags.

"It's done, let's go," Kyle says.

Montell nods. "Back all the way up against the wall."

Eric and Calleigh comply, then the robbing employees back out of the vault.

Kyle begins to close it.

"W-wait," Calleigh calls. "You're locking us in here?"

"It's ventilated," Montell informs them. "Would you rather us kill you?"

"Look, you guys will already have a running start," Eric says. "Just...let us go, alright?"

"There's ventilation, some light, and you'll only be in here about a day," Kyle explains. "Someone's going to be looking for you two, and besides, after Christmas, the bank will be open and someone will open it up and see you. You'll be fine."

The men close and lock the vault.

The music gets turned off, then the lights in the vault are turned off, save for the small lights for the cameras, which had been previously disabled by a third, unseen accomplice.

Calleigh makes her way over to her purse and pats her hand around on the floor to pick up what she can feel after and put it back into her purse.

Eric sighs and he sits on the floor.

"This is frickin' unbelievable," Calleigh huffs as she sits on the floor against the wall opposite Eric. "They're taking my car, Eric. My car!"

"They're right though," he sighs. "They didn't turn the air off, so we'll be okay."

"They took our phones, Eric."

"People will be looking for us," he says. "They're going to screw up, you know. They're probably going to dump your car the minute they see our badges, and they're bound to leave something behind."

Calleigh sighs.

"You okay?" He asks.

"Yes and no," she shrugs. "Yes, I'm fine, physically. No, because I'm stuck in a damn vault with you that after being held at gunpoint on Christmas Eve."

"What's the worst part for you?" He asks. "Being held at gunpoint or being stuck with me?"

"Neither," she teases. "I've been held at gunpoint before, and as for you, well...better you than anyone else."

"That makes me feel awesome."

"That was a compliment, you know."

"Yeah, I know, _carina_."

"Now, you will drive me crazy with the endearments," she says.

"Habit," he shrugs. "But you're not being fair. My mother calls you _mijita_ all the time, and you don't seem to mind."

"That's 'cause she's your mother," Calleigh sighs. "You, however have boundaries to respect, Mister."

"But you are _mi carina_," he grins. "You always will be. Would you like it better if I called you _mi regina_ all the time?"

"Eric...stop it, please?"

"Alright."

They both settle in for a long night.


	2. Two

Need a Miracle

**Two**

"What time is it?"

Eric rolls his eyes. "Cal, you asked me that like ten minutes ago."

"Well, I want to know again."

"Think about what time it was and add ten to that."

"No need to get snippy about it."

"I'm not," he argues. "Just don't ask me every ten to fifteen minutes what time it is. Besides, you have a watch on, don't you?"

"Yeah, but mine's always behind, I don't trust it."

He chuckles. "Right...of course you don't."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

It is going on seven o'clock, and for the most part, they've been sitting in silence. Eric has taken off his suit jacket, and Calleigh has kicked off her heels and taken off her blazer. She has on a pink button down blouse, and she has untucked it.

She sighs, suddenly deciding that her hair is too heavy for some reason, and she pulls it up, wraps it a few times, and pins it up with a pen in her purse.

In the dim light, she takes Eric in.

She's never forgotten how sinfully attractive and sexy he is, and she remembers just having stars in her eyes the first few weeks of their relationship, marveling at how he was _hers_. Eric, with his handsomeness was all hers and she liked that he didn't mind being owned. Of course she couldn't brand him like she wanted to, but she thinks she left enough of herself on him to let every other woman know that he was taken. Calleigh felt pride in knowing how much Eric wanted to be with her. She felt happy because after so many years of friendly flirting, and then finding a deeper bond together as friends and coworkers, she allowed herself to fall, to give him, give _them_ the chance to take the opportunity set out before them.

Calleigh had been nervous when she figured out that he'd fallen in love with her.

Oh, she _knows_. Has known that Eric is deeply in love with her.

She would like to blame his affections on the fact that he'd had near death experiences, but, he seems stronger now, less emotionally dependent upon her. Even when he was, she felt her heart open up that much wider to let him in. She felt good around him; she could be a woman, she could be vulnerable, she could cry even and he'd be there, in those clandestine moments, to hold her, comfort her in ways that only he can.

Sure, Ryan, or Natalia, or Horatio can hug her, can whisper reassuring words, but it doesn't sink into her in the way that it does when Eric is the one holding her. He brings a certainty, a sureness to her that things are going to be alright that no other man could promise before.

She doesn't like comparing him to the other men that have been in her life, but it happens.

Eric is leaps and bounds a much better man than the others. He'd proven that just a little over an hour ago by stepping in front of her, protecting her and then making sure she didn't pass out from her panic attack.

Calleigh liked being with him, and he liked being with her.

The first time they made love is a memory that always nearly brings her to tears. From the moment they began their relationship, she wanted to, but he resisted her, which both touched her and pissed her off. Touched because Eric cared about her, and wanted to take things slowly, and pissed off because she wanted the man so, so badly. She couldn't wait, but he did, he made her, for a whole month. In that time, he occupied her with other things, like taking her to his parents' house, feeding her until she was too sleepy to do anything, playing chess with her, watching movies, which is her sleep aid, and taking her out.

She was happy, but her ravenous side was burning hot like lava, and she couldn't hardly wait for him to decide that they were ready.

Calleigh thinks they waited more for his security than hers.

When they finally did make love, it was...the most intimate experience she'd ever had in her entire dating life. She'd never felt so peaceful and content while making love before, not even when she was young and experiencing love for the first time. Eric was gentle, aware, exploring, learning her and what she liked. It was intense, slow, passionate and perfect. Everything was perfect; the lovemaking, the togetherness, being a couple, sharing everything...it was getting better and better each day.

Then it all just...stopped.

Then it started up again, and the second time, there was no waiting.

When Eric came back to work for the defense on the Sheffield case, she felt that familiar flame light up inside her. Courtesies, talking, and awkwardness be damned, she went over to his condo, and there were no questions asked, nothing said at all, actually. All that happened, several times that night, was the kind of sex that left them both overheated, hypersensitive, and more wild and hungry for each other than ever before.

And things were good again, great, exciting and better, than the first time.

Them not working together had much to do with it. They no longer had to hide their relationship, and it was good, so good. Things felt normal, and they were happy again, until he was brought back into the fold by the case that changed everything between them again.

Calleigh admits that she went too long without telling him how she really felt. She was thinking about every aspect of their relationship, she was thinking about Eric and how he would feel, she was thinking...always thinking.

"Your parents are probably wondering where you are."

Eric nods. "Yeah...unless they think I just blew them off. They knew I had to work today."

"Right," she sighs.

They lapse into silence again.

Eric watches as Calleigh begins to inspect her cuticles with little interest. It is then that he begins to think about the things she does that bug him.

He hates the way she drives, for one thing. Perhaps if she drove moderately, like Natalia or Walter, they would have just missed the disgruntled bank managers who locked their asses in this vault in the first place.

He immediately realizes that wasn't fair. Anything can happen at anytime, regardless of himself or Calleigh. If not being stuck in a vault, it would be something else tonight.

Locked.

In a _vault_.

With Calleigh.

If this isn't a fluke, then he doesn't know what else deserves the name.

His parents are probably calling his phone, leaving messages, telling him to call back.

He sighs.

He'd been looking forward to spending Christmas with his family...

"I should've bought presents for everyone earlier in the week," he laments out loud, and Calleigh looks at him.

"Why?"

"I wouldn't have had to stop at the bank today," he chuckles.

Calleigh doesn't see the humor in it.

"You've always been a procrastinator," she says matter-of-fact.

She is right about that.

Eric kept thinking _I have time, I have time_, and then this morning, he realized that he still hadn't gone to get his nieces and nephews Christmas gifts, nor anything for his parents or his sisters. He already had in mind what he was going to get for everyone, it's just he hadn't yet gone to get them. His habit contributed to this mess they are in now, but he is thankful to God for the fact that Montell and Kyle had enough heart not to maim them in any way. The money was their focus, and he figures that by now, they are probably trying to get out of Florida, maybe toward Cuba way and then from there, disappear. Or, they've split the money in half and gone their separate ways.

That is a more likely scenario.

He watches as Calleigh rummages through her purse.

"What are you looking for?"

"iPod."

"Oh, that'll lighten the mood a little," he grins with hope. "Is it in there?"

"I don't know, I'm looking," she snaps.

She is irritated, in a bad mood.

The last thing she'd wanted was to be stuck in a vault on Christmas. She had planned on going home, soaking in her tub with a glass of wine and popping those Grandine truffles she loves and spent a pretty penny for so that it would get to her just in time. She had it all laid out in her head: aromatherapy candles, some Merlot, music, lovely bubbles, the spa jets going, and those scrumptious chocolates melting in her mouth. Perfect.

She feels the burn of anger in her cheeks as she searches for her iPod.

They need something to keep the silence from driving them both mad.

Oh, the tension is thick, despite their cordiality.

She hasn't been alone with him in months, and she has no idea what to do, or say, except small talk.

She finally finds it.

"Got it."

"Great."

She turns it on, and turns the volume up loud so that they both can hear it.

_Teenage Dream_ begins playing, and Eric laughs.

"I never took you for a Katy Perry fan."

She shrugs. "I'm not, I just like a couple of her songs. It's on Genius."

"Oh. How many Genius playlists do you have?"

"Lots," she shrugs. "I don't know how many. I made them to listen to while I'm running."

He nods. "I do the same thing."

"I know," she smirks. "I still can't believe you like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones."

"How can you _not_ like them?" He asks with a smile. "They're legends...musical geniuses. My dad's a Stones fan, too."

Calleigh shakes her head, giggling.

Eric and his father are two peas in a pod. They have a great relationship, and together, the two of them are funny, loving, and wise. Pavel Delektorsky loves his son, because no matter what DNA says, he is Eric's father, no question.

When she first met his parents some years ago, Calleigh thought briefly that she should learn Russian because Eric and his sisters are fluent, and when she came back into their lives as Eric's girlfriend, they switched from speaking Spanish around her to speaking Russian. It confused her, threw her, and made her nervous. She couldn't understand a word, but she could understand facial expressions. She doesn't care what Eric says, his sisters Teresa and Nina can't stand her. For some reason, they think she's bad news, and it's clear that they dislike her because they always direct Russian phrases that don't sound kosher at her.

"What about your mom?"

Eric chuckles. "Selena and Michael Jackson."

"Michael Jackson?"

"Yep."

"Oh my God," Calleigh laughs. "I just totally got a mental image of your mom dancing to Michael Jackson."

"Hey, my mom's got some moves," Eric informs her. "I learned how to dance from her. My dad's hopeless."

She tilts her head to the side.

"You never did tell me how the talk with your parents went," she begins. "You know...after you found out about Sharova."

His jaw clenches, and she regrets bringing it up, but she wants to know because that is the one thing he absolutely refused to talk to her about. She respected that, because it was a family matter, and between him and his parents. She didn't need to know the details, but now she wants to know. It boggled her that he carried no anger, or bitterness against his family for lying to him his entire life. In fact, he was humbled by it, and he saw possibilities with Sharova that she couldn't. Eric didn't pull away from his family, but it certainly was a hot topic whenever they went over for dinner, and she would always politely bow out to give them privacy.

They spoke in Russian, the language that marginalizes her even further in his family. His family is open minded, they don't care that she's this blonde haired Southern Belle, but it's hard for her to fit in like she wants to sometimes because she has no frame of reference to the intricacies of their culture and their family.

Eric's family life always seemed ideal to her; that is, until he found that he was the result of infidelity on his mother's part.

He sighs. "That's private, you know that, Cal."

"I know, but...after everything we've been through...with a lot of it having to do with Sharova the first time...I want to know. It hurt me when you wouldn't...talk to me about it."

"I guess turnabout's fair play," he says. "The last few months, you haven't talked to me at all about anything."

She frowns at him. "Oh no, don't even start that shit, Eric."

"Calleigh, I'm not a damned mind reader," he argues. "Getting you to talk to me was next to impossible! You're harder to break open than frickin' safe and-"

"That is not true, and you know it-"

"If it's not true then why did you blindside me with that 'let's take a break and be friends' bullshit, huh?"

"I didn't blindside you," she hisses. "You're being a real asshole right now. You know damned well that it was a mutual decision."

Eric rolls his eyes. "Mutual my ass. It had to be mutual because you just came right out with it one morning. No warning, no explanation, not even one damned excuse."

"Dammit Eric!" She yells, feeling the sting of tears. She _refuses_ to give this man the satisfaction of crying. "All I did was ask you about you and your parents and you berate me for it! If this is how you're going to talk to me all damn night, then I prefer we don't talk at all! I will _not_ sit here in this damn vault and let you talk to me like that. No...it's not gonna happen."

Eric snorts. "Oh really? Where're you gonna go, huh?"

He shouldn't have been so cocky, because before he can blink, something moderately hard, cold, and medium sized hits his head, followed by:

"Screw you! Asshole!"

"OW! Calleigh!"

"Don't talk to me!"

"Ah! What did you throw at me?" He asks, picking up the object.

Her planner.

He slides it back over to her.

"Leave me the hell alone," she growls, before she turns down her iPod and puts the earbuds in, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"Glad to," he says bitterly.

Eric combs his fingers through his hair before he rests his head back against the wall of safe deposit boxes.

It feels warm in the vault, despite the air flowing into it, and he realizes that it is heat from his ever boiling anger that he's been repressing for months.

He looks over at Calleigh, who has her head rested on her knees. Though he's furious at her, he knows that he's hurt her, that he got through to her heart. He knows this position; she's completely shut down right now, and it is best just to give her space in this small vault. He most certainly doesn't want to experience any more wrath from the Southern woman. If she had no qualms about chucking a planner at his head, God only knows what she'll grab next from that cavernous purse of hers.

He's glad she isn't armed.

Eric sighs.

Calleigh shuts down, blocks out too easily of late. She's been almost..._depressed_, but in a functional way. She loves being out in the field, and for her to go so long not being in the field worries him. There wasn't enough paperwork in the entire department that could keep her from going out in the field, pounding the pavement, or arresting perps...that changed a few months ago, and since then, she's just been...working until clock out, then going home and doing God only knows what. The brightness in her eyes is gone. She can smile that brilliant little smile, but the spirit that made it beautiful wasn't there.

She's retreating, she's old Calleigh.

The Calleigh of a few years ago that avoided him, that wasn't playful, that was focused solely on work, and cerebral. She barely laughed, didn't cry, she was even cold at times.

And he thinks that's when he began to become interested in her romantically, because she made it clear to him and any other man that tried to squeeze his way into her life, that she was unattainable. She was just some hazy fantasy, not tangible. She didn't want to belong to anyone.

Calleigh didn't want to belong to him.

Now _that_ hurts.

Eric looks at her again, and she hasn't moved, not a millimeter, and he hates himself and his selfish pride. Now he will have to work that much harder to get her to tell him why.

_I love you like family_.

He needs to know _why_.

Why did she tell him that?

Why did she close up? Why did she stop...everything?

Eric wants answers, he wants hope, he wants..._her_.

He _loves_ her.

Eric knows that it'll take something short of a miracle to get Calleigh to tell him the truth.


	3. Three

Need a Miracle

**Three**

Calleigh starts awake, and she lifts her head up from her knees.

_Dynamite_ is playing on her iPod, and she yawns a bit and she turns it off and takes the earbuds out. She hadn't meant to doze off, but she was unexpectedly emotionally exhausted and raw from the argument she had with Eric. What's more, it was an argument accusing her of the same old thing, how she didn't talk to him about things that were bothering her, how she closed up the last few months. It is true, but she doesn't need to be reminded, especially not by him. It's yet another thing that puts a wedge between them, their friendship.

She peers through the semi-darkness and sees that Eric has dozed off.

She looks at her watch, and sees that it is only a little after nine o'clock.

She sighs, feeling a bit stiff, and she pushes herself up and begins to stretch and walk around the small space a bit. She lets down her hair as she points and flexes her toes. Her ankle pops, and she grimaces at the sound. She works out her knees and then she paces.

Eric awakens, and he rubs his eyes before checking his watch. He sees Calleigh walking around, and he thinks that's a good idea. His feet have fallen asleep, and he gets up slowly, and Calleigh steps aside as he begins to walk the stiffness off. They pass each other as they take turns about the vault, avoiding eye contact at all costs. He can tell that she is still pissed at him by the thin line her lips have formed. He hates that their friendly conversation dissolved into an argument, into accusations on his part. She really didn't need that, not while they are in this situation together.

Eric decides that he will ignore her request for him to not talk to her.

"Cal, I-"

"What?" She asks harshly.

"I want to apologize to you," he says, sincerity in his voice.

"You really hurt my feelings, Eric," she says in a shaky voice. "The fact that you did it intentionally makes it worse."

"I know," he agrees. "You were right. I was being an asshole and I'm sorry."

It takes her a few moments to respond.

"Apology accepted."

She knows she can't stay mad at him for long.

After successfully loosening up their stiff joints and muscles they both sit down again.

Calleigh turns her iPod back on.

The music cuts through the leftover layers of contention that has settled between them.

"Is that the theme song from _Grey's Anatomy_?" He asks.

"Mmhm."

"What's the name of it?"

"_Cozy in the Rocket_."

"All this time, I never knew the name of the song."

"Oh my God, you're late on that one, Eric," she chuckles.

"I don't watch the show," he says. "So I wasn't that interested. But Teresa is a freak for that show. It's scary. She can tell you what happened on the show from the very first season to now. She knows all the trivia, all the characters...she even knows all the medical jargon."

"Wow. She's dedicated."

"You have no idea," he says, rolling his eyes. "Kind of like you are about _The Marrying Kind_."

Calleigh laughs, and he feels his heart jump in his chest at the sound. It's been too long since he's heard a genuine laugh. Too bad the lighting is bad, because he wants to see her face, see if it has banished the dullness in her eyes.

"It's addictive!" She giggles. "There's just something so entertaining about watching desperate women vying for getting the cake and eating it too. The money sweetens the deal."

"Not all of them were out for the money," he says. "Remember that case we had? The uh...Carlson case? She loved the guy."

"He would have hurt her in the end," she resolves. "He was a jerk. She was way too innocent and sweet. She...hadn't given herself over yet, if you know what I mean."

"I got it."

"That Martin guy, the host, gave me the creeps. Bleh! I feel gross just thinking about him. Ew!"

Eric laughs. "He was that bad?"

"Worse," she grimaces. "He was a louse."

Eric grins.

He wonders what everyone is doing right now.

Their phones are probably ringing and vibrating off the hook.

There is probably some work party going on right about now, or a (rigged) gift exchange. Every year the Secret Santa thing goes wrong; they do solve crimes for a living, so it's nothing to figure out who has who for a Secret Santa. Last year, Calleigh could hardly contain herself once she figured out that Jesse, rest his soul, was her Secret Santa. She blurted it out over lunch, unable to keep the secret, and Jesse just shrugged it off. He got her a nice gift; a foot care set from Bath and Body Works. He didn't mind going in there, and it miffed Ryan and Walter because the women in the lab swooned over him even more, Calleigh included. The secret that Jesse didn't know was that Calleigh didn't want for anything, and she is easy to please.

"_That is _so_ sweet, Jesse!" Calleigh exclaimed as she hugged him. "I love it!"_

"_You're welcome," Jesse said. "I know you like that kind of stuff."_

"_I do, I do," she smiled. "Thank you. Merry Christmas."_

"_Merry Christmas."_

_Maxine opened up her gift from Walter, and she frowned._

"_Toe socks?"_

"_You know I don't know you that well," Walter defended. "You can't go wrong with socks."_

"_That's foul, man," Ryan said handing his gift to Natalia._

_Eric looked at Calleigh questioningly, both of them wondering how it was that every year that they've done this that Ryan and Natalia end up getting each other._

_Natalia opened up her gift, and it was a basket full of products from Genevive, the hottest day spa in the city. Maxine, Sam, and Calleigh all gathered around Natalia like bees to a hive, wanting to see what the basket contained, all of them instantly jealous._

"_I don't like you," Maxine frowned as she picked up the lotion and smelled it. "Mm, this smells so good."_

"_Ooh, smell this one," Natalia said._

"_Oh my God," Calleigh marveled. "That's heavenly. You're going to be boneless."_

"_I know," Natalia smiled haughtily._

_Ryan opened up his gift, and it was a subscription to Netflix._

_Calleigh went back over to Eric, who leaned in and whispered:_

"_This is _so_ rigged."_

"_I know," Calleigh pouted. "They always get good stuff!"_

"_Yeah, and I get a damn gift card for Olive Garden," Eric lamented. "I hate that place. _Worst_ gift exchange ever!"_

"_You Scrooge," Calleigh teased._

Ryan and Natalia are the masterminds behind switching people off and making sure that they get what they want.

"Natalia's party is probably in full swing," Calleigh comments.

"I forgot she was throwing a Christmas party," he says.

"Yeah, she texted me yesterday. She's going to do a gift exchange."

"She really is a sick person," Eric says incredulously. "This will be the third year she and Ryan have rigged the Secret Santa thing."

Calleigh chuckles.

"It's true...you know it's true, Cal."

"I know," she grins. "But...it's kind of cute, though. You know they've had a thing for each other for years."

"Still, I hate getting crappy gifts, though."

"Well, maybe they'll be fair this year," Calleigh smirks. "Especially if Natalia's going to give Ryan some Secret Santa lovin' later on tonight."

Eric covers his eyes.

"Oh God!" He groans. "Mental image. I'm gonna need a frickin' lobotomy!"

"What? We're adults and friends..."

"I know, but...gah! God..."

"Oh please, I'm sure everyone saw mental images of us all the time when we were together."

"Jesus Calleigh, _stop_!"

She rolls her eyes. "You big baby."

How she can be so comfortable with this conversation is beyond him. To him, imagining his closest friends having sex is right on up there with picturing parents having sex. It's just not pleasant, or pretty. Eric recalls one time when he was about twelve or thirteen, he came home from school early with a stomach flu, and he thought his parents had been expecting him. He went upstairs, and gravitated to his parents' bedroom, and not thinking, he pushed the door open and his parents were doing some..._questionable_ things, and he threw up again on the carpet, an infraction, on top of the not knocking, that earned him a trip to his school stadium to run steps as punishment nearly a week later when his mother felt he was well enough to endure it.

That is why he just can't take it.

But he's quite the hypocrite because he spent about two years imagining Calleigh having sex with him, which wasn't fair to her, really.

"You saw your parents one time, didn't you?"

"Yeah, and it was..._horrifying_."

"Well, at least your bedroom was down the hall," Calleigh sighs. "Mine was right next to my parents' room."

"I'm sorry."

"Luckily for me, we had pretty thick walls," Calleigh smiles.

"Anyway," he says. "So I don't puke, what makes you think Ryan and Natalia are together like that?"

Calleigh sighs. "They've been...different around each other. I think they've been closer ever since that explosion last year. Emotionally, she depends on him. C'mon, don't tell me you haven't noticed too."

"They have been getting closer lately," he concedes.

Calleigh has seen the interaction between the two, and she thinks that they are good for each other. They both wear their hearts on their sleeves, and Ryan is just a good guy period. It's obvious, from the way they rig the Secret Santa, that they know each other well, and care deeply about each other. Lately though, Calleigh has been watching them a little closer, and she's seen the way Ryan eyes Natalia, she's witnessed them sitting together, chatting and occasionally letting their fingers twine together, or caress over each other's hands, or trace palms.

Eric has seen much more subtle signs.

He has seen how they gravitate toward each other, how Ryan now touches Natalia on her lower back with gentleness and comfort. He's seen Natalia looking happier lately, more at peace, and she always lights up whenever she sees Ryan.

If they are together, he will be happy for them, because they deserve to have a life and to be content. Relationships can be stabilizers; they can block out the craziness of work, obligations, and other responsibilities because all that matters is the person you love. It's about safety, and certainty.

Eric is pretty sure that Ryan gives Natalia both, which she needs after what she went through in her first marriage. Even the most beautiful, intelligent women can have ugliness in their lives.

"I think it's a love match," Calleigh swoons with a giggle.

"Work has become quite the soap opera."

"Whatever helps us cope."

"True. But meddling in our coworkers' lives isn't exactly the most kosher coping strategy."

"It's not meddling," she says defensively. "It's...drawing inferences based on initial-"

"Observation of an active scene," he finishes with her.

She smiles. "Forensic Procedures 5801."

"Forensic Protocol 7302."

She is liking this moment of levity between them. Right now, things seem more normal between them than they have been in months, despite the fact that, well, they're locked in a vault, that after walking into a bank that was going to be robbed.

"How much did you hate that class?" Eric asks.

"Lots," Calleigh laments. "And to make things worse, I had this professor from some Eastern Block European country. He had a thick, thick accent, and I literally had to listen to his lectures over and over on my recorder because I couldn't understand him."

Eric laughs.

"And I remember his wife was around my age," she recalls. "Let's see...I was about twenty one...she was a couple of years older than me, and he was like forty five..."

"He wasn't _that_ old, Cal," he says. "When you're that young, you think anything over thirty is old."

"Either way, he was too old for her," she says.

"Hagan was too old for you..."

"That's different," she corrects. "I was twenty five and mature."

"Hmm," he says doubtfully.

"What?"

"You were still wearing hair clips and headbands."

"So? It was my homage to the '90s," she chuckles. "That was a good decade for me. Besides, it's not like you were exactly on the best dressed list, Mr. Dockers."

"Hey, Dockers were a perfect combination of style and moderate pricing, considering what our starting salary was. I was twenty six and still going to my parents' house for a home cooked meal. To say we were mature is a stretch."

"Maybe you and Speed weren't," she grins. "But I was a well-rounded, mature, upright Southern woman," she drawls for effect.

"Hagan was still too old for you."

She shrugs.

She hates to admit that their age difference did have much to do with the disconnect. So much went wrong with that relationship. It was the first one she'd gotten into since college. Her heart was bruised from Jake leaving her, and Hagan seemed like he was good for her. For a while he was; he was thirty nine, going on forty at the time they began dating, and he was good to her, until his ego got in the way. He fell so hard for her, and she knew it, and he began to resent her tenacity and commitment to her work because he wanted to lure her into his idyllic world. He wanted a wife to support, someone that would be waiting for him with a plate of dinner in hand, someone to bear his children. She was young, fresh, naive in some areas of life, and fertile.

She stayed with him because though Calleigh wasn't ready for any of it, and didn't want to turn into a kept woman, it was also very tempting at the same time. The life he wanted to give her seemed secure, seemed like it would be good.

Her independence disillusioned him, among other things that she had nothing to do with...

She bites her bottom lip.

Eric has always had a feeling that something when south in that relationship.

There was something in the way John treated Calleigh, and talked to Calleigh some months in that he didn't like. Hagan never appreciated her work, never showed the slightest interest, and Eric thinks that Hagan may have even resented it. He was controlling, possessive...he stifled Calleigh in the worst of ways.

"What happened between you and Hagan?"

"What do you mean?"

"Cal...I've always suspected that something was off," he confesses. "I...I was always worried about you when you were with him. Speed too."

"You know that Speed and Hagan had a rivalry."

"No, it was different, Cal, and you know it. Something wasn't right..."

"What are you asking me, Eric?"

Eric swallows thickly before speaking.

"D-did he...did he abuse you, Calleigh?"

She pushes her hair behind her ears and she sighs.

He feels his heart clenching and the anger stirring up inside him.

"Tell me about the talk you had with your mom and dad."

He scowls at her then. "How many times do I have to tell you that it's private?"

"Well so is what happened between me and John."

"Two totally different situations, and you know it."

"Yeah? Well speaking ill of the dead isn't exactly something I like to do, Eric."

"It's not speaking ill of the dead," he says. "Dammit, Calleigh, you've perfected your gift of avoidance, and it's pissing me off."

"Here we go again!" She huffs incredulously. "I don't need this bullshit, Eric! I really don't, especially not from you! God! I'm seriously beginning to doubt that we'll make it out of this frickin' vault with our sanity!"

"Maybe you need to lose a little bit of it because you're so tightly wound," he quips.

"Oh, you go to hell!" She hisses venomously.

She crosses her arms over her chest, fuming.

"Why is it that you can make demands but I can't?" He asks.

"Because you have lied to me, you've hidden things from me," she explains bitterly. "You've abused my trust, Eric. To the point where you don't deserve me telling you a damn thing."

He shakes his head.

"You are so self-righteous and self-absorbed it's pathetic."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Cal," he challenges.

She glares at him.

Their eyes have adjusted to the dimness of the vault, and now facial expressions can be seen clearly. He is too riled up to be frightened by her demon-stare.

"You're just saying that to hurt me," she accuses.

"I'm saying that to get you to realize that you bear some responsibility for what's happened between us," he explains. "You're so quick to blame it all on me, but there was two of us in our relationship. Blame one, blame the other."

She looks away, unwilling to accept that.

Eric has lied to her about things that he could have trusted her with. She could have protected him, had his back. It hurt her deeply, and she doesn't think he realizes that. It wasn't just some small, noble act to try and protect her in her mind.

"Eric...that's not the problem," she sighs. "The problem was that you have never acknowledged how the situation looked in _my_ mind. You never stopped to think that, despite the situation, I perceived your actions differently...that I took it a different way. You...disregarded the way I felt because you felt you were protecting me. You felt that I shouldn't be upset, and that upsets me."

His anger dissipates.

"I'm sorry," he says quietly.

"You don't know," she begins in a quavering voice. "What seeing you in the hospital did to me. You...y-you didn't...see me."

Eric doesn't remember much from when he was in the hospital again, and Calleigh never revealed to him what she was feeling then.

"I was a wreck," she sniffles. "I...thought I was going to lose you, and I was sick over the way things had turned out. All I could think was that I could have protected you, but you wouldn't let me. You...you left me behind, and I felt alone."

He feels his heart pounding, and he lets her words sink into him.

"Calleigh...I-I didn't know..."

"When you lied to me about the investigation into the diamonds, I...I tried _so hard_ to forgive you. To trust you again. But it hurt, Eric. I almost lost you again, and all I could think in that moment, when the explosion happened, was that I should've been by your side that whole time. That if it was going to cost lives, then it should have been us, together. Not just you, because...you're my best friend, you're my heart, Eric. You're my partner. Partners have each other's back, no matter what. I thought that mattered to you."

He releases the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"It does matter to me, Cal. God, I...I had no idea you felt that way. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was trying to move on," she sighs. "Because I knew that you meant well. I knew that you were trying to protect me, and our friends."

"But you've been hurting, Calleigh," he says. "You talk about me hiding things...you've been hiding this from me, when it would have been good for me to know."

Calleigh sighs. "Well, it's all over now, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess so," he says curtly.

"Don't mock me, please," she says firmly.

"I'm not mocking you," he says. "That's typical of you. Over and done with on your say so."

"What the hell do you want from me, Eric?" She asks angrily. "What? Do you want me to be weak and crying in front of you? What do you want to see, huh? You want to see me become some damn victim? To be vulnerable? What do you want from me!"

"I want you to realize that I'm right here, Calleigh!" He yells and she winces at his tone. "That I've always been there for you! I want you to stop running away from me, I want you to stop playing games! I want you to let me be your partner, your best friend for a change! You're so damn busy trying to be brave and independent that you forget about the people in your life that want to be there for you, that want to help you for a change! But you won't let them, you won't let _me_ do that!"

She just looks at him.

"It's okay to be a little weak," he says. "It's okay to be a little needy and to let someone take care of you. It's okay to be vulnerable, especially in front of me."

She looks down at her hands.

"You can't save everyone, Cal...you can't be everything to everyone all the time, and you can't always be the protector, okay? We get it, Cal. We all get that you're strong, intelligent, independent, loyal, and protective. You don't have anything to prove to me, or to H, or to the team anymore. Stop pushing everyone away. I can tell that you've been lonely, and sad, when you don't have to be. It doesn't have to be that way for you, Cal."

Calleigh crosses her arms over her chest.

"Don't shrink me, Eric."

"I'm not trying to do that," he says calmly. "I'm just telling you that you don't have to finish construction on that twenty inch thick steel barrier you've got surrounding you."

"Well maybe I like my barrier," she argues. "Maybe I want these boundaries. Have you thought of that?"

"If it works for you, then fine."

His resolve angers and frustrates her even further.

"You've been trying to change me, Eric. Stop treating me like I'm some damn charity case or something! So I'm not as open as you are, so I'm not as trusting as you are...that doesn't make me an emotional defective! That's been the problem the whole time we were together! You've known how I am for years, so when we got together, you should have known what you were in for! Stop trying to fix me! I don't need you telling me how or what I should feel!"

Eric rubs his hand over his face.

She irritates him just as much as she makes him happy.

"You hear, but you don't _listen_," he says. "If, after all that I said, you think that it's because I'm trying to change you, or fix you, then you didn't get it."

"Why? Because I don't think the same way as you do?"

"You talk about me not respecting how you feel," he laments. "You're doing the same thing to me. You're minimizing what I feel for you, my concern for you, and quite frankly, after all that we've been through together, I really don't need that from you."

"Yeah? Well guess what? I don't need you at all! I don't need anything from you! I don't need you or anyone else! I didn't need you before, during, or after we were together, and I most certainly don't need you now!"

Her words to him stab him over and over, and he looks away, clenching his jaw.

Calleigh feels the tears in her eyes, and she closes her eyes before they escape her.

"Thanks for uh...clearing things up for me," Eric says bitterly. "Now, let me clear a few things up for you: I'm in love with you, Calleigh. I love you, and you know good and damn well how much I do. You've known for a while now, and I'm not going to sit here in this fucking vault all night and let you make me feel ashamed about the way I feel about you. For a person who doesn't think too highly of shrinks, you'd sure benefit from seeing one because you've hijacked every emotion from me, from our relationship and held them hostage. You've done your very best to make sure that I don't ever have a chance of getting into your heart. I admit, I had little to do with that, but before everything happened, you had your mind made up already. What I did was just the catalyst."

She cuts her eyes at him. "You don't know-"

"Let me finish," he interrupts her. "You've made it very clear how you feel, now it's my turn. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for all the hurt that I've caused you, for not paying attention to how you were feeling in the aftermath of it...but like I said before, I can't read your mind, Calleigh. I don't know unless you tell me, and I wish that you wouldn't wait until the bottom drops out to start telling me these things. I love you, you're my best friend and partner too...you talked about you having my back, no matter what, but when it counts the most for both of us, you won't let me have your back. You won't let me be who I've been to you for the last ten years. I can't do this push-pull, on-and-off thing with you anymore, Cal. It's too painful, and life's too short, and...I just want to be happy. I want you so, so badly, but it's clear to me, from the way you've been acting, that I can't have you."

Calleigh feels her chest tighten and her throat and mouth suddenly become dry.

"W-what are you saying to me, Eric?"

"I'm saying that...maybe us taking a break is helping us reevaluate," he says. "I...want things that you don't want, or maybe that you're not ready for, and I can't...waste any more time. _We_ can't waste any time. Maybe when we get out of here, we should leave everything we've said and done behind and just...try to start over...see if we can be happy with other people."

She lets a tear escape and she quickly wipes it away, and nods slightly.

"Um...i-if that's what you want, then..."

"Is that what you want?" He asks.

She sniffles a bit, and smiles softly.

"Can we...think about this?" She asks. "You know...wait until we actually _do_ get out of here?"

"Yeah," he agrees.

Calleigh draws her knees up to her chest again, and she trembles.


	4. Four

Need a Miracle

**Four**

How long has it been since he's held her like this?

Eric sighs as he looks down at Calleigh, who is sleeping against his chest. They spent almost thirty minutes trying to get as comfortable as they can on this hard, cold marble floor, and Calleigh tried to lie down on her purse, but she was shivering from the floor, even through her blazer. He saw her discomfort, and decided that no matter where they were in their relationship, he wasn't about to let Calleigh make herself miserable on this floor.

"You can lay against me," he offered, and she raised an eyebrow at him, her stubborn will emerging. She insisted that she was fine, that she would find a comfortable position, but then soon became tuckered out, her body crying out for sleep. After trying her hand at resting her head against the cold metal wall of safe deposit boxes, she finally relented, and drowsily crawled her way across the small vault to him and immediately snuggled into him just right before succumbing to exhausted sleep. Though she had her blazer on, he covered her with his jacket too, and she relaxed even more.

As for himself, he's not all that tired.

He's actually very hungry; he hasn't eaten since lunch, and it is now going on midnight.

He grins a bit, smoothing over her hair.

"Merry Christmas," he whispers.

He thinks that there has to be people looking for them by now. If his predictions are correct, Calleigh's car got dumped somewhere very quickly, and hopefully not too far from this bank. If the robbers just wanted to make a clean break, they will have just left everything in her car.

He knows deep down Calleigh is ticked about her car.

He grins a bit.

A silver mustang that she bought over the summer last year, that after selling her Porche when she decided that she did not like it. She bought the porch after finally giving up that old Jeep of hers that she drove from Louisiana to Florida and then kept another five years. Calleigh is great with guns, terrible with cars. She doesn't know a thing from cars, though she seems to favor the Hummer. He thinks it's because of the power; she's so short without heels, and she's tiny in the truck, but it must feed her ego just a little bit.

He hopes that they are found sooner rather than later.

His car is still at the lab, they haven't been answering their phones...someone has to think there is something amiss.

The silence isn't so bad now, considering that they've spend most of the evening arguing off and on about things ranging from the serious to the mundane, like Calleigh trying her hand at unscrewing the air vent grate with first an ink pen, and then the point of her heel. Eric just watched in amusement, and she turned to him, a flustered look on her face, and she finally gave up.

He's been content to just sit in here because there's no point in tiring himself out in trying to find some way out. At first, he thought Calleigh was going to be crawling the walls, but she's done pretty well with coping so far, only, the arguments they've had has probably served as an outlet for both of them. This isn't nearly as scary as it could have been; the robbers could have hurt them, and locked them in here, leaving them to die, but...they were only focused on getting the money and splitting.

He realizes now that they are fortunate.

The only thing he regrets is the fact that Calleigh dropped the popcorn.

That could have lasted them a little while.

She stirs a bit and he looks down at her. She is still asleep, and he holds her a little tighter.

He's missed this more than she will ever know.

It never ceases to amaze him how well they fit together. It's still so easy, even at this point when they've come to an impasse, to fit together just right, like this. They are both more comfortable like this than they have been in the past hours spent in here together.

Eric looks down at Calleigh again, and she looks gorgeous, angelic, and peaceful as she sleeps. That had been one of the best parts of being with her as intimately as he was; watching her sleep, waking up to her still asleep, having her nestled up against him. On mornings after they've made love the night before, she always made sure to play up her sultry waking moments, all for his benefit. She would tease him, allure him and try and convince him to stay in bed with her. Her green eyes would darken with desire, the lids still heavy from sleep, making her look so, so lusty and wanton...he misses that.

Calleigh has no idea how happy he makes him.

Even now, just being around her makes him happy, and she doesn't know it.

How can she not know it?

Perhaps he should have tried harder to let her know that.

He will try harder if he gets another chance.

Eric sighs.

He should have seen the "break" they've been taking coming. Coming like an oncoming runaway train.

Things shifted between them after the poisoning.

Rob Starling had masterminded a series of murders and then attacked the lab with a gas that ultimately contributed to the death of their colleague and friend, Jesse Cardoza. Eric remembers that he headed back to the lab, and when the elevator opened, he found his friends and coworkers on the floor, papers and files scattered everywhere; everyone just dropped where they stood, and it was possibly the most frightening scene he's ever witnessed. When the gravity of the situation hit him, he immediately set his mind on saving Calleigh. He ended up collapsing himself, and it was a good thing Horatio showed up when he did.

After that, something wasn't right about her, he could tell, but she tried her best not to let on.

They went on like normal for about a couple of months after the incident for the most part, only she had trouble sleeping. Then she stopped taking active cases and began to work in the lab more, and she began to withdraw. He doesn't really remember what he was thinking at that time...maybe he was in denial of the fact that something was wrong. He didn't want to believe that they may have been heading right into yet another sink hole. She wasn't herself, and he knew it, and now, as he thinks about it, he should have inquired earlier, before she told him that she needed a break.

_Eric found her sitting on his bed, in the dark, just staring out the window, and he came in and gently put his hand on her shoulder._

"_Babe..."_

_She started a bit, then she calmed and grinned._

"_Hey."_

"_Why are you sitting in the dark?" He asked as he turned on the lamp before sitting next to her._

"_I was thinking..."_

_He gently caressed his hand over her back. "About what?"_

_She shrugged, grinning a bit. "Just everything...us..."_

"_That's pretty vague," he chuckled a bit._

_There was something off about his place, about his bedroom. Different._

_She looked into his eyes._

"_I..." She pauses, her voice trembling. "I need...a break."_

_He furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"_

_She crossed her arms over her chest._

"_I mean, I need...space," she explained with a slight smile. "Just for a little while. To figure things out."_

_He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. It was happening again, and this time, he felt completely taken by surprise._

"_Figure what out?" He asked. "Whatever it is, we can figure it out together..."_

_She shook her head quickly, putting her hands on his, smiling tearfully. "Eric...this has nothing to do with you. It's not you, okay? This isn't because of anything you did or haven't done. I-I need to just take a step back, okay?"_

_He was confused, but he reluctantly agreed._

"_O-okay..."_

"_But we're still friends," she insisted. "Let's just be friends right now..."_

"_Are you breaking up with me?"_

"_No," Calleigh said. "No, love, I'm not breaking up with you. I just think that we...need some time apart. I need some time...can you give me that?"_

_Eric nodded, more confused than before. "Yeah...sure. Of course, whatever you need."_

_Calleigh grinned, then she kissed his cheek and got up and left the room, sniffling. _

_He looked around, and it finally hit him._

_There was nothing of hers in his room._

Maybe it was too intense, maybe he pushed too much his desire to marry her, and make a family with her. Perhaps he wasn't aware enough of what she needed, or maybe he didn't love her the way she wanted and needed to be loved.

The painful, overwhelming sensation of failure began to envelop him.

Some way, somehow, he failed her along the way.

Much as it hurts, it is the truth.

It was the subtle finality of that moment that crushed him.

But he remembers seeing something distinct in her eyes, something like pain...more accurately, _sorrow_.

If that is what it was, he wonders what has caused it.

Did he cause it?

That thought makes him hold her tighter.

A few hours later, Calleigh stirs and he looks down at her.

She opens her eyes slowly, then she sighs as she sits up a bit, rubbing her eyes.

"Hey," Eric says.

"Hey..." Her voice is raspy from sleep, and she clears her throat. "You're still up?"

"Yeah," he says, taking his arm from around her shoulders. "Merry Christmas."

"Huh?"

"It's three AM," he chuckles. "It's Christmas Day."

"Oh...Merry Christmas," she grins sleepily as she stays next to him, resting her head against the wall, whining.

"What?"

"I want my bed..." She pouts and he chuckles.

She hands him back his jacket.

"Thanks...for um..." She pauses. "Letting me..."

"You're welcome."

She nods, then she makes her way over to the other wall so that she is across from him again.

"Do you think people are looking for us?" She asks.

"They should be by now," he says. "They know it's not like us to not answer our phones. Plus, my car is still in the garage at PD."

Calleigh pushes her hair behind her ears.

"How do we let these things happen to us?"

He shrugs. "Well, it's not a fire, there's no bullets flying, and oh, there's no Russian mobsters after us...at least we mixed it up a little."

"So being trapped in a vault is a silver lining?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

She rolls her eyes.

"Want the iPod back on?"

"Sure."

She turns her iPod back on, and the bluesy croon of Billie Holiday floats around them.

Her stomach grumbles, and she puts a hand over it.

"I'm starving," she sighs. "I want a huge bucket of fried chicken with mashed potatoes, coleslaw, and a Diet Dr. Pepper."

"That actually sounds good," Eric says. "Minus the Diet Dr. Pepper."

"I know, you like that maple syrup crap they call Coco-Cola," she grimaces. "Yuck."

"Hey, don't put down the Coke," he chuckles. "Not only is it refreshing, but it's the only soda brand that can bring teenagers together from several different countries in a field to promote world peace through the gift of song. It's awesome."

"Eric, we weren't even thought of when that commercial aired," she giggled.

"So? It's still a classic."

"The commercial I remember seeing a lot growing up was the public service one with the Native American..."

"Oh yeah...the one about littering."

"Yeah, he's standing on top of some hill by a highway in LA and a bag of trash lands at his feet," she sighs. "And they zoom in dramatically on the single tear."

"Yeah, I remember that one," he recalls. "Remember the Blow Pop commercials?"

"Yes! I _so_ wanted to be on those commercials!"

Eric laughs. "Why that one?"

"I don't know," she shrugs. "It just looked fun and colorful. You wouldn't understand because you don't like sweets."

"I think I do," he says. "I've seen your school pictures. You were cute."

"Yeah, with my teased hair, braces, and baby doll dresses."

"But you wore it well."

Calleigh doesn't think so.

She hated, absolutely _hated_ the fact that she had to wear braces, and she cried over it for the longest. Her father insisted that she get them because, and she can admit this now, her teeth were crooked, and had she not gotten braces, her teeth would have been a jumbled mess. Luckily for her, she got them out junior year. Despite the braces, she did have a steady boyfriend who insisted that she didn't look as bad with braces as she felt.

"If I knew you then, I would date you," he chuckles. "Especially since you were on the dance team."

"Oh no," she blushes. "I hated those uniforms! We all looked like we belonged in a saloon!"

"Jefferson High School First Ladies, class of '93," he teases.

"I should have never shown you those," she laments. "I knew you'd tease me about it at some point."

"You've always been beautiful, Cal," he says sincerely. "Really."

"Thanks," she grins. "You were pretty handsome. But I think I like your baby pictures."

"Of course you do," he grins.

"My favorite one is the one from when you were probably around six," she laughs. "You had no front teeth, and you were, of course, being a ham."

He laughs. "That's the one with me, Mari, and Nina. I was actually supposed to be in time out."

"You were a bad little boy."

"Things were more fun that way."

"No wonder Nina can't stand you."

"We do have a love/hate relationship," he agrees. "More love than hate."

Calleigh tilts her head to the side. "Is it still hard for you guys? You know, to be together without Marisol? I mean, I've been around your family a lot, and sometimes your mom and dad look...they look like they're still trying to accept that she's gone."

Eric thinks about Marisol all the time, and recently, he visited her gravesite and lit a candle for her at his parish. He does miss her, he misses her terribly because he was close with her, he helped her when she was diagnosed with cancer, and he watched her marry his boss and friend, Horatio. He'd never seen Marisol so happy before in his life, and Horatio was more than happy. Eric at first wasn't okay with the marriage because it happened so quick, but he wanted Marisol to be happy.

She'd been sicker from the chemo than she looked. He was there every moment when she couldn't keep food down, when she was too tired to get out of bed, and he put his career on the line because he was willing to do anything, _anything_ to take the pain away from her.

"They're better now than they were when Mari first died," he begins. "Before she was murdered, they knew that Mari was sick, and that her chances weren't that good, despite the aggressive chemo...it was hard on them, but she was taken away so abruptly...it was a shock to everyone. That entire year changed my life in ways I didn't think it would. I became a better brother and son for it."

She bites her lip then she speaks. "I remember how devastated your mom was when I came to the repass. I-I felt so...helpless being there. I know that you wanted me there because I knew your family, but...I couldn't help anyone, not even Horatio."

"You were more helpful than you think, Cal," he says. "You helped me. Knowing that you were there helped me. Above all else, you're the most amazing friend anyone could ever ask for."

"Thanks," she says softly. "I never met her, but I knew how much she meant to you."

Eric smiles. "Now Mari would have liked you if she'd met you. She always saw you walking around the lab. She called you a bumble bee."

"Why?"

"You were always busy. She said she never saw you stay in one place too long."

She laughs. "Well she had me pegged. That hasn't changed."

"I know, you're quick. She would have really liked you."

"And I would have liked her."

They lapse into silence, just listening to the music from Calleigh's iPod.

Without the iPod, Eric thinks that things would have been more tense, less bearable with her. Since they've been in here, and this surprises him, she hasn't been the easiest person to get along with, This shocks him because for too many years know, they've been close friends, and no matter what, Calleigh's always been civil, amiable. But he hasn't done much to keep her mood up either. He's deliberately provoked her which only gives him the slightest satisfaction because it is irritating how she just acts so nonchalant about things that are important to him. Drawing her ire isn't necessarily fun for him, but seeing her angry lets him know that she's still human, that she still has some passion left in her for something.

"Eric?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I've been so unbearable," she apologizes. "You're an amazing friend to me too, and...well sometimes, I forget that."

"I'm sorry too," he says. "And maybe in some way, you were right..."

"About what?"

"About me trying to change you," he admits. "I didn't realize that's how I was making you feel. I wasn't trying to change you because I love you the way you are, it's just that...I care so much about you."

"I know...it's just that you're so open about things, you can be open like that. I can't...it's very hard for me to talk about things, or to admit that something's wrong. It's...self-preservation, it's protecting myself from the fallout."

"Why are you always expecting things to go wrong?"

"Because things _have_ gone terribly wrong," she explains. "I don't want things to go wrong, nor do I predict it, but when things do go wrong, it doesn't hurt as badly as it would if I wasn't prepared."

He nods.

He knows that her childhood has much to do with the way she is as an adult. She's only shared snippets of her family life with him over the span of years; while he thinks and talks of his family often, she just reveals snapshots of brief memories, not all of them happy. Something more happened to her as a child than she lets on. She minimizes the effect her father's drinking and her mother's absence has had on her life. Honestly, Eric thinks she has blocked it all out just so she can cope. The relationships she has been in were exact replicas of the hurt she experienced growing up, and he won't say that she does it deliberately, but there was something within her that drew her to those men.

"You know, John wasn't a bad guy," she begins.

"What?"

She bites her bottom lip.

"You asked me earlier if John ever abused me."

"Oh...um, Calleigh, you don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to."

"No, I-I want to," she says. "I need to. You'll be the first person I've talked to about it. I never even told my daddy."

Eric just listens.

"John...he..." She pauses a bit, then she begins again. "He was...trying to be a good man. He um...he just wanted so much from me. But to answer your question...he never touched me physically. It was emotional and verbal. I don't know why...I guess he was intimidated by me. I don't know why I put up with it for as long as I did..."

She sighs and pulls her knees up to her chest.

Eric notices that she's done that several times throughout the night; he thinks that is a remnant from her childhood.

"One time, we went to the grocery store because we were having some of his buddies over for dinner," she grinned. "I was happy because he was going to let me cook. It'd been so long since I cooked for other people. Anyway, he was already annoyed because of the day he'd had...we were in this really long line, and he noticed that I forgot to pick up some rolls. I laughed it off, but, he became angry. I started to say that it wasn't a big deal, but his eyes...he scared me. He cut me off and I remember, word for word, he said 'Shut your mouth. You shut your mouth. You can spend all day looking down a microscope, but you can't follow a simple list? What good is that brain of yours when you don't use it? You're wasting my time.'"

"I was so embarrassed, and I couldn't say anything," she continues. "He sent me to go get the rolls and when I got back, he ignored me. He wouldn't even let me put the rolls in the damn basket..."

"_Are you together?" The cashier asked._

_John shook his head. "No, separate."_

_Calleigh felt nauseous and consumed with heartache, and she didn't know why. She was used to it._

"_John..."_

_He ignored her as he paid for the food in the basket while she held the rolls. She tried to put the rolls with the rest of the food, hoping that he was getting over it a bit, but he handed them back to her._

"_My purse is in the car, remember?"_

"_Then I guess you better get in the back of the line while I get it."_

Calleigh sighs. "I had to wait all over again. When we got to his place, he calmed down and he kissed me, like nothing happened, like he hadn't just made me feel like the worst person in the world...over some stupid dinner rolls. Another time, he got mad at me because I cancelled our plans so that I can see my dad for a few hours. He told me to grow up, to act like I'm a woman, to stop running to him every time. He said I was shallow, and naive...but the most hurtful thing he said 'If your daddy loves you so much, why does he drink? I he really loved you, he would've been there for you. Get that into your thick head, Calleigh. You're dad's never gonna change for you on your say so. Stop living a damn fantasy world.' That really crushed me because you know my dad means the world to me."

"Why did you stay with him for so long?"

"I don't know," she says tearfully. "I guess because I thought...things would get better, that he would see that he was hurting me with his words. But it wasn't wrong to him, and I realized that. He spoke to suspects, his friends, and the unis that way. When he became possessive and controlling, that's when I broke things off. He wanted a wife, I wanted my career. He made me choose, and...I didn't choose him. After we broke up, it was scary for a few weeks...he would call me dozens of times a week, he would sit outside my house at night and scare the shit out of me..."

Eric shakes his head. "Cal...why didn't you say anything to us? To me, to H...anybody? We could have protected you, you know that."

"Because I wanted him to get over the break up, not for you guys to break _him_ up. You know that if I told Horatio that John would have had a 'bad back' for real. You know that."

"You could have told me," he says. "I hate that you went through that alone."

"You would have beat the crap out of him too," she says. "Eric...you and Horatio together is a good and bad combination. He's the fuel, you're the fire. You know when you both get pissed, things turn into frickin' world war three. You two really are like family because you both tend not to think rationally when you get upset."

He chuckles. "Got the job done."

"Yeah, and you left a trail of human wreckage and paperwork in the aftermath."

"That I will not deny...but Cal, I can't believe he said those things to you. I can't believe you went through that. Abuse in any form is...despicable. I'm sorry that you had to endure that, Calleigh. I really am."

She grins a bit. "You live and learn, that's all."

He raises an eyebrow at her. "You _cannot_ tell me that it didn't affect you for a while."

"It did," she nods. "I can admit that. But I didn't let it happen ever again."

Eric nods.

She is resilient, he knows that. Still, he can't believe that Calleigh would allow herself to stay in that type of relationship. Of course physical abuse is bad, but emotional abuse leaves marks unseen. To think that she went through it hurts him deeply because if he'd known, he would have helped her, he would have helped her put a stop to it.

"Don't agonize over it Eric," she says. "You didn't know and it was years ago."

"I know, I just wish that you told someone," he says.

"I told you."

"I know," he says. "Thank you for telling me. Thank you for...being open with me. I know that was hard for you to tell me."

"I trust you."

Eric nods then he rests his head back against the wall.


	5. Five

_New semester at university has started. Reading. Papers. Life. You get the picture. Will post as often as time permits. Enjoy.

* * *

_

Need a Miracle

**Five**

"We should probably walk around again," Calleigh suggests.

"Yeah."

They both get up and begin to stretch and take turns about the vault again.

"OW!"

"What?" He asks in a panic.

"Dammit, Eric, you stepped on my foot!"

"Sorry."

"Just keep your big feet away from me."

They both are much more cautious as they walk around.

_Lean On Me_ begins playing, and Eric chuckles.

"Your iPod's going Old School on us."

Calleigh smiles. "That's real music right there. I grew up on this."

"Ah, you're a Motown girl..."

"Damn straight. You should already know these things, Mr. Delko."

"I've never listened to your iPod," he laughs. "I had no idea you had a groovy side. All you used to play was Harry Connick, Jr, and Ray Charles."

"I like that too."

He grins. "You have a whole other side with your iPod."

They walk around and listen to the song.

Calleigh has always liked this song, it's message. It resonates with her, because she has people in her life whom she can depend on, whom she can lean on and gain strength from. She is sure that if she needs her friends, they will help her, they will no hesitate. But because of the brave face she puts up all the time, they assume that she's always alright, that there's nothing going on, that nothing fazes her. She wishes that she had it within her to cry out to them. She feels as though she's been living in a vacuum, and her voice is gone. She feels so far removed from everyone and everything, and she doesn't know how to get back to them.

She does need help, she's just afraid to ask. She's afraid of giving in to the feelings that have been consuming her day after day for months.

Calleigh sits down again, and she looks at her watch.

"What time do you have?"

"I have four-thirty."

She sighs. "How come no one's found us yet? I-I mean...those two guys couldn't have gotten too far."

"Cal, it's going to take them some time if they are looking for us," he says. "We may not get out of here until the bank opens again."

"Which will be tomorrow!"

"Calleigh, there's no point in stressing yourself out about it," he says. "We'll get found."

She nods. "I know...I'm just so tired and hungry and thirsty..."

"I know. Me too. But don't think about it too hard."

"Distract me."

Eric raises an eyebrow and smirks mischievously.

"Oh mind out of the gutter, Delko," she frowns. "Besides, what you're thinking will only make us hungrier. Sex burns calories."

"You got a point there. But sex also relieves tension and-"

Calleigh shakes her head. "I'm not having this conversation with you. Boundaries, remember?"

"Friends talk about sex."

"With _other people_. Not sex with each other."

Eric chuckles. "So you're gonna go all 'When Harry Met Sally' on me?"

She scowls at him. "You know, I could make this a lot worse for you if I imitate the fake orgasm scene."

He smiles. "Please?"

"Oh stop it!" She huffs as she gets up and begins to walk around the vault again.

"Cal, I'm just kidding."

She stops and puts her hands on her hips and eyes him suspiciously.

"You're imagining me naked, aren't you?"

He downcasts his eyes guiltily. "Maybe..."

"Ugh!" She frowns. "See, you should have never planted those seeds!"

"I can't help it, Cal," he says defensively. "We've been together, we've made love, I know what you look like naked. I'll never get that image out of my head, break or no. Besides, don't act like you don't do the same thing."

"Oh my God, I can't believe we're having this conversation," she groans. "This is serious, Eric. We're locked in a _vault_ for heaven's sake! We're both starving, thirsty, exhausted, and getting on each other's nerves! This is _not_ the time to be talking about you or me naked! Or 'When Harry Met Sally'! Or any other Nora Ephron production for that matter!"

He furrows his eyebrows. "I thought Rob Reiner directed that?"

"Ephron wrote it, Reiner directed it."

"Ah."

Calleigh sits back down Indian style, then she tangles her fingers into her hair.

"I can't take this!" She says tearfully. "I can't! I need to get out of here!"

Eric can hear the distress in her voice.

"Cal..."

He makes his way over to her and he touches her shoulder, but she pulls away from him.

"No!" She snaps. "There's nothing you can say or do right now! I'm sick of this, okay!"

Eric goes back to his side.

His side.

Already he is starting to feel at home.

"Calleigh, you need to stay calm," he says firmly. "You don't want to have another panic attack, do you?"

"No," she sighs. "You're right...how are you so calm about this?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. I'm just thankful that we're okay, and that this isn't more dire than it looks."

She rests her head back against the wall.

Eric now feels the weight of sleepiness in his eyes, and he quickly dozes off.

Calleigh feels sleepy again herself, and she will allow it; anything to help take her mind off of her hunger and thirst. She turns off her iPod, then she puts on her blazer, then she crawls over to him and immediately replaces herself against him. Eric automatically puts his arm around her and he covers her with his jacket again.

Within minutes, both of them are asleep.

/\/\/\/\

Oh God_ Calleigh thought as she watched Eric unbutton her blouse. _This is **really** happening between us. God...why am I so nervous? I've done this before...but not with Eric. Jesus, he's so damn handsome. I feel dizzy...it's really hot...

_Eric saw her wavering on her feet, and he caught her just before she collapsed._

"_Whoa, Calleigh," he said, concern on his face. "_Carina_, are you okay?"_

_She nodded. "Mmhm..."_

_He loosened his grip on her._

_Calleigh's skin was flushed a deep crimson, and her breaths were becoming quicker and shallower. She opened her eyes and looked at him. Her eyes were glazed and she was spaced out. He wondered if they perhaps had too much wine with dinner to make her this faint._

"_Babe..."_

"_I'm fine," she insisted. "It's just...really hot."_

_He chuckled. "Are you sure you want to do this tonight? I think you're a little tipsy..."_

_She nodded emphatically. "No. Yes!" She exclaimed a little too enthusiastically. "I want to..."_

_He smiled. "Okay."_

_He gently caressed her cheek and kissed her softly._

_Eric has been waiting for this moment for so long, he didn't know if he would be able to contain himself. There was so much he needed to learn about her, about how to please her, how to make her tremble and cry out for him. God, he was looking forward to that moment. He wanted Calleigh so badly, and he hoped that they would take their time. He wanted to take it slowly and take some time to catalog every expression on her face, memorize every patch of skin he kissed. It was going to be exquisite._

_God, he was completely in love with this woman. He had been in love with her for over a year, and to finally be with her like this...he was almost waiting to wake up. It was surreal._

_She felt lightheaded as she kissed him. She couldn't wait to make love to him, which she wanted to do very soon, as in the next moment. Her skin was hot to the touch, and she pressed herself against him more, kissing him ardently, and she reached between them and began to unbutton his shirt quickly. He took it off and she was pushing up his undershirt, which he also abandoned. She was quick with her hands, because he could barely keep up with what they were doing from moment to moment. Oh, there went his belt._

_He kissed her neck as he set about finishing the task of unbuttoning her blouse._

_She whimpered. "Eric..."_

_He kissed her softly, and then, he felt her retreating._

_He opened his eyes and her eyes were rolling back as she began to faint again. He caught her again and she collapsed against him._

"_Whoa, whoa," he said, shaking her a little bit. "Calleigh..."_

_She was out, and he chuckled a bit as he gently laid her down onto the bed. He put his undershirt back on, then he laid down beside her and held her as she slept._

_It wasn't until the morning that Calleigh woke up, and she turned onto her side, and she reached a hand out. Eric wasn't with her, and she groaned in embarrassment._

_She did drink a bit too much wine from the nervousness and eagerness she felt at dinner. _

_Passing out probably completely turned him off and he must have left her hours ago when he discovered that she was down for the count. Great..._

_She began to cry into her pillow._

_After waiting and then finally getting to the moment they were ready, she had to go and pass out like some common lush. The depth of her affection for Eric ran so deep she could barely comprehend it, and she wanted to fall even further. She wanted him to make love to her, but she figured that wasn't going to happen. _

_Perhaps he realized he'd made a mistake and changed his mind._

_That thought brought on more regretful tears._

"Carina_...?"_

_At the sound of his voice, she sat up, her face streaked with tears and her hair tussled._

_There he was in the doorway, two plates in his hands._

"_Eric? Y-You-You're still here?"_

_He grinned. "Yeah...why wouldn't I be?"_

_She sniffled and wiped her tears, and she grimaced. "Oh God...I must look hideous..."_

"_You look gorgeous," he smiled as he came and sat on the bed with her. "I made you some breakfast."_

_She smiled a bit. "Thank you. That's sweet of you, especially since I ruined last night for us..."_

"_You didn't ruin anything," he chuckled. "I like being with you. I like this."_

_She smiled._

_She looked ravishing with her cheeks flushed, her blonde hair tussled from sleep, and of course, that amazing smile to top it all off._

_They ate breakfast and talked about silly things, things that made her giggle and flush, that made him smile and tease._

_After they finished breakfast, Eric cleaned up, and Calleigh laid back, staring up at the ceiling, part thinking, part luxuriating. Her heart was fluttering, she was basking in his scent, chuckling at the fact that her blouse has been completely unbuttoned since last night and was revealing her pink and black lace bra. She smiled, feeling silly, giddy, and happier than ever before. All these feelings were surrounding her and they felt like...they felt like..._love_._

_Calleigh Duquesne felt like she was falling in love with Eric Delko._

_The thought made her smile._

Okay...I'm falling in love with Eric_, she thought happily. _I'm falling in love again, and it feels even better than the first time. I'm falling in love with Eric. My coworker. My best friend. My soon-to-be lover if things go well from here...I think I'm in love with Eric. I love him.

_Eric came back into her bedroom and saw her sprawled out, blouse open and revealing her pink and black lace covered bosom, her hair fanned out a bit, her face flushed, and a sweet smile on her face. _

_She sat up a bit and looked at him._

_He came over to her and kissed her passionately._

_She moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him on top of her._

Calleigh awakens, and she sighs.

That's not quite how their first time making love went, and she grins at the variation her REM had produced. Most of it was pretty accurate; yes, she did pass out, but only for a few minutes, and instead of breakfast, Eric made them coffee, but they did have morning sex, just in the wee hours, around three or four in the morning.

The other part that was real is the part when she'd been reclining on the bed, thinking that she was in love. That is true, and she furrows her eyebrows through drowsiness.

She is in love with Eric.

_Deeply_ in love with him, to the point where it aches.

She hates that he doesn't know that, that she hasn't been as bold as he to confess it. It hurts her, and she's made him think that she doesn't love him the way he loves her. He's sure about what he feels, but he's still in the dark about what she feels for him, when she should have made it obvious, when she should have told him.

She's already twice almost lost the man that she is desperate for, and both times she has kept all the love she has for him to herself. She is desperate, helpless...addicted to being in love with him and she hates herself for being such a coward.

When will she say it? When will she say screw self-preservation and tell him the truth?

Because now he is thinking about seeing _other people_. Other _women_.

Suddenly, she is cold with fear, and her stomach lurches, sick from anger, and she removes herself from his embrace, and she makes her way across the vault and sits against the wall, drawing her knees up to her chest. She covers her mouth with both hands to keep the sobs from escaping. She shakes and hyperventilates as the scorching tears fall down her cheeks and go on a bumpy ride down her fingertips clamping tight across her mouth.

Maybe it's the hours in this vault, or the conversations and arguments that have slowly, but surely shaved away the layers, but now she feels naked, she feels stripped, bare...she closes her eyes.

Calleigh cries harder, and she feels her chest becoming tight and she is becoming weak against the battle of trying to hold herself together, or, at the very least, keep herself quiet.

She fails. Miserably.

Eric furrows his eyebrows, hearing the faint sound of...crying from within his subconscious. He opens his eyes slightly as the crying begins to sound louder, and more like sobbing...familiar sounding sobbing, and he rubs his eyes before he looks over at Calleigh.

She is hyperventilating, sobbing, red-faced, fingers tangled into her hair.

He immediately snaps out of it and sets his mind on helping her.

"_Carina_, what's the matter?" He asks. "Breathe..."

"I-I-I c-ca-can't," she sobs hysterically.

Eric made sure to put her inhaler in his jacket pocket incase she needed it right away again and not waste time searching for it on the floor or in her purse. He digs in his jacket pocket and he grabs it.

"Here," he says, putting it in her hand. "Calleigh, you have to use it."

She lifts it to her mouth and she uses it, letting the medicine enter her airway and ease the growing inflammation and constriction. Her breathing slows, but she is still sobbing, and Eric puts his hands on her wet cheeks.

"Cal...what's going on?" He asks. "Did you have a nightmare?"

Just the opposite is true.

The most rapturous and blissful dream has revealed to her the painful reality.

"I can't," she cries, pushing him away. "I can't, I can't..."

"Can't what?" He asks, confused.

He knew it. He knew that she was unraveling, and he should have gotten whatever it is out of her sooner because watching her like this is terrifying him. He hasn't seen her cry like this in years, and before now, when she did, she was more forthcoming with him, and she didn't have weakened lungs.

"Babe, you gotta talk to me," he implores. "I-I can't understand you when you're crying like this. Try to calm down so you can talk to me."

"No!"

"Calleigh, you're scaring me," he says. "Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong..."

"No!" She yells, hitting and kicking him away. "Get away from me! Leave me alone!"

"Calleigh stop it! I can't let you go on like this! Stop it!"

He grabs her arms and draws her into him to keep her from hitting him, and he wraps his arms around her, and she finally hooks her arms under his and grips his shirt into her fists as she releases painful sobs into his shoulder.

"I don't want to do this anymore!" She sobs. "I can't do it anymore! I can't..."

Eric smoothes over her hair. "You're gonna be okay...I promise..."


	6. Six

Need a Miracle

**Six**

It takes Calleigh an hour to calm down, and Eric pulls away and looks at her.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

"I have a headache," she hiccups. "And my chest hurts..."

"From the crying," he says. "Try to keep breathing slowly.

She nods.

Eric waits for a few minutes then he caresses her cheek.

"Babe...what's going on?"

She begins to cry again, and he gently wipes her tears.

"Please Eric, just give me some time," she begs. "I-I need some time..."

"No," he says firmly. "No more time, no more space...as of this moment our little break is over. Talk to me, tell me what's happening to you, Calleigh."

Calleigh sniffles and she shakes her head.

"I can't...I don't want to argue with you or talk to you anymore," she cries. "I'm sick of it! I just want to get out of here! I need to get out of here!"

"Look, we're not getting out of here any time soon," he says calmly. "I wish I could get you out of here but I can't. I wish I could do more for you, Calleigh, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got us into this..."

She looks at him through watery eyes.

"Eric, this isn't your fault."

He sighs, running a hand over his face.

"Well, something's gotta be my fault," he says in frustration. "I did something wrong with you along the way, Calleigh."

She shakes her head, putting her hands on his arms. "No...you didn't do anything wrong with me. Y-You didn't do anything wrong. Why would you say that?"

"Because that's how you've been making me feel the whole time we've been in here!" He says angrily. "You're pulling further and further away from me, and I can't...you're my partner, and we used to be in sync, I used to be able to read you, know what you're thinking...I was thinking it and you were doing it...usually that kind of disconnect happens over long periods of time, but I've lost all of that with you in the span of a few months."

Calleigh shakes her head again with a slight smile, putting her hand on his cheek.

"Eric...it's not you. It never was you, I-"

"Then what is it?" He asks, pulling away from her, standing up. "What is it? What do I have to do to get you to tell me the truth? How many times do I have apologize for everything I've done that's hurt you? How much more do I have to do to earn back your trust?"

Calleigh sniffles and gets up. "Eric..."

"Tell me!"

"Dammit Eric!" She yells. "I never ask you for anything-"

He takes her arm and she pulls away from him, backing into the wall.

"Tell me the truth, Calleigh!"

She takes a trembling breath and tells him.

"I thought I was pregnant!" She yells.

He steps back a bit, feeling his heart twist and his stomach drop.

Of all the things he had been expecting her to say, this is something that will take his perceptions of this on a completely different course.

"What?" Is all he can ask at the moment.

"I thought I was pregnant," she repeats.

He is confused and now fearful of what she might tell him next.

How can she hide something like that from him? How long ago was it? Is she pregnant now?

If she is, that would explain her behavior of late, but she can't be. For one, he knows that she would have told him, and two, she's been actually looking thinner than he last remembers, she doesn't look like she's put on weight over the months. But then again, every pregnancy is different. No. She would have told him.

She wouldn't be so cruel as to not tell him about his child.

"Cal...I-I don't understand," he says.

"Eric...I can't talk about any of this with you right now, okay?"

"Calleigh, I'm really, really confused right now," he says, feeling like she'd just punched him in the stomach. "You...I need you to tell me what happened. Please..."

Calleigh wipes her tears and looks at him.

"Cal...please, tell me."

She crosses her arms over her chest.

She knows that she can't hide what happened forever. She can see that he's been trying to figure out if he did something wrong, if he said something...she knows that he has been trying to understand and cope with the fact that they might not make it through this, that they might not ever get back what they've lost and that there might not be anymore chances to start over. Calleigh has realized that he will not wait forever for her. He is willing to try and move on at this juncture, and that pierces her heart because she's not ready to let him go. She wants Eric. Only Eric. Now. Later. Tomorrow. Forever.

She sniffles.

"A few weeks after the incident in the lab," she begins. "I thought that I'd gotten pregnant. Well, I...felt pregnant, at least. I lost my appetite, my breasts were sore, I was so, so tired...I'd skipped a period, and I counted back to when we last made love, and remember the week before the incident, when we snuck home during our lunch break?"

He is too confused to laugh about it. "Yeah, I do."

That afternoon, they were both feeling particularly mischievous and playful, that after the lovemaking session that never came completely to it's climax, in every sense of the words, because of their respective cell phones ringing. Eric had woken her up with soft, yet nipping kisses along her neck, and then his hands entered the equation. She pretended to be half asleep for a good while, until she surprised him with a burst of energy and pinned him, taking over the teasing from there. Their phones ringing forced them to press pause.

Afternoon came, and Eric found her quickly, and he took her hand and they ducked out the back way to the garage and he took her to his place because it was closer. Soon as the door closed, he'd hoisted her up and she wrapped her arms and legs around him as he carried her to the bedroom.

"_Eric...what-" _

_He interrupted her with a kiss._

"_We can't," she began between kisses. "We shouldn't-be-here..."_

"_It's our lunch break," he said as he gently laid her down. "We have an hour..."_

"_Still..."_

"_Shh," he said, kissing along her neck. "Be glad we actually made it to the bed."_

"_We are being soo bad..." She giggled as he began to push her blouse up._

"_I'm just finishing what you started this morning," he said as he got her blouse off._

_Calleigh gently pushed him onto his back and straddled him._

_She was beautiful, and he caressed his hands over her abdomen._

"_Well, if you _insist_ that _I_ started it," she purred as she leaned over him and kissed him passionately. "Then _I _should be the one to finish..."_

_Eric smirked as he watched her take her bra off._

"_I like the way you think, CSI Duquesne."_

"_Oh, you have no _idea_ what I've been thinking about doing to you, CSI Delko," she drawled sultrily as she dangled her pair of handcuffs in front of him._

They were both happy, even after the incident. What happened to playful, bright, sunny Calleigh? He doesn't want to believe that she's changed so dramatically over a pregnancy scare.

"I figured that's around when it happened," she sighed. "So, I went and bought a pregnancy test."

"What did it say?"

"It was negative," she says quietly.

That explains why she'd had that look in her eyes when she told him that she needed a break that day. That explains the tearful look in her eyes.

He shakes his head. "Cal...w-why...? Is that the reason why everything went south between us?"

"It's that and other things..."

"Calleigh why didn't you tell me that you thought you were pregnant?" He asks. "We could have found out together. You didn't think that it was important enough to tell me?"

"Of course it was important!" She yells.

"Then why would you keep something like that from me?" He asks angrily. "How _could_ you leave me out of something like that? How can you be so selfish?"

"I'm not going to argue with you about a pregnancy that never was!" She shouts. "I don't want to argue with you anymore! I'm sick of this shit, Eric! I'm done with you!"

"You know what? Fine. Soon as we get out of here, we won't argue about another thing, I promise you. You'll get your wish."

Calleigh shakes her head. "You call me selfish...you won't even hear me out!"

"Then talk," he says coolly.

"Forget it."

"You tell me that you thought you were pregnant months later," he begins, his voice low with fury. "You find out on your own, then you tell me that you need space without one damn reason, then you have a goddamn breakdown in front of me and scare me to death, and now you won't tell me what's going on with you. Forgive me if I'm the one that's got trust issues for a change."

"Fuck you, Eric!" She yells vehemently. "If you don't trust me now, then what's the point of me telling you a goddamn thing, huh? I'm sick of you judging me! I'm sick of you! Just like you're so sure you love me, I'm just as sure that I don't love you! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

He's never seen Calleigh this angry before in all the years he's known her. The woman he loves passionately just told him that she hates him, and he's lost as to how to get her to forgive him for making her feel that way. She thought she was pregnant, but it turns out she wasn't, and he wonders was she relieved? Did she want to be? Does she want a family? What does she want? What does she want from him?

He swallows thickly. "C-Calliegh..." He reaches out a hand to touch her shoulder, but she pulls away.

"No."

"Babe...I'm so sorry..."

"Stop saying you're sorry!" She huffs. "Just leave me alone! I just want to get out of here and away from you!"

"I...look, there's no excuse for the way I said what I did," he says. "But I meant it. I need you to talk to me. You found out about something that we should have found out about together. I-I hate that you found out alone. Why didn't you tell me?"

She turns to him. "Because when I saw that the test was negative it was just a reminder of another thing that I can't have!"

She feels as though she'd been trapped in a pressure cooker that kept increasing the heat on her. There are things going on within her that she can't manage anymore, and it is frustrating to her, she can't handle anything anymore.

"What do you mean?"

"I _wanted_ to be pregnant. I was actually praying that I was because...we were so happy together, and...everything was perfect. Eric..."

Calleigh pauses and wipes her tears.

"I was _so_ sure," she continues. "I was going to surprise you with dinner or something so that I could tell you. That's how sure I was that it happened for us. But then when I saw that the test was negative, it broke my heart. The disappointment was devastating to me, it shattered everything, and I didn't tell you because the last thing I wanted was for you to be disappointed."

He sighs. "Calleigh...yes I would have been disappointed, but, we could have gotten through that together. You don't have to go through these things alone, babe."

She shakes her head. "You don't get it. I couldn't have a stable home, I couldn't have any peace because my father turned me and my sister into nervous wrecks, I couldn't have a mother that loved me enough to stick around...and I don't have anything left inside of me that says that I can do better. That I can be better. Any hope I had for carving out a normal life for myself went in the trash right along with that damn test."

He clenches his jaw. "So you just decided on your own to abandon everything we had together over _one_ pregnancy test?"

"Eric, it was more than that," she huffs.

"What was it then?"

She sighs. "I...I got a job offer."

He furrows his eyebrows. "What?"

"A couple of weeks after I took the test, I received a phone call from Jason Klein, he's the director of the Chicago forensics lab. He said that he's been watching my work for a few years now. We talked for a long while, and he shared with me that he's been doing a complete overhaul of the lab because it was a cesspool, and he was cleaning house. They got a brand new accreditation incentive, and they're remodeling and reworking the lab. He offered me a position for assistant director."

Eric's heart begins to pound in his chest. "Th-that's...um...wow, that's a great opportunity. You haven't told anyone yet?"

She shakes her head. "I've been thinking about it. Klein has been giving me all these incentives take the position. The pay is...beyond what I thought I would ever make, and...Klein promised that I wouldn't be sitting on my ass either. He gave me until after New Year's to decide."

He feels so left out, he feels like she's taken him out of her life completely. He feels like of all the people in her life, he meant the least to her, after all they've shared. She hasn't once taken his feelings, his thoughts into consideration.

"So, are you going to take it?" He asks.

"I'm seriously considering it," she says. "Klein sent me a plane ticket to Chicago. He invited me up to see the lab, tour the city a bit...Eric...I know that you're confused and pissed at me-"

"I am," he confirms. "So, what? Were you going to let me know when you got there? And what about the team? Were you going to tell them?"

Calleigh sighs, rubbing her temples. "I haven't...thought that far ahead yet. But...the more I think about it, the more I want it."

"What about your dad? Does he even know? Are going to tell him?"

"Of course I'm going to tell him," she says indignantly.

"Are you sure you're just ready to...leave your life here?" He asks. "Calleigh, you've been living here for years...you really want to pick up and leave everything and everyone?"

"Well, I have to if I decide to take the job," she shrugs.

"You're willing to leave your dad?"

"I know that you've never been able to understand my feelings about family and all that," Calleigh sighs. "You...you're so close to your family, you don't separate your life from theirs. Your family _is_ your life, and...I can't keep up," she chuckles a bit. "You're the best uncle in the world...I can't think of any other single men your age that would prefer babysitting duty over something else. It's..._foreign_ to me. I've spent my childhood running away from my family, while you run toward them, and I'm not...I wasn't prepared for that when we were together. I never felt comfortable, I never felt like I really belonged. I know that your family-well, maybe your parents, I'm still convinced that your sisters have it out for me..."

He chuckles.

"I know your family has accepted me," she continues. "I love them immensely, but it's not _my_ normal. So when I saw that the test was negative, it brought back everything I've been trying to escape. I hardly know my own mother, how can I possibly be a mother to my own child? What kind of wife will I be? And all this time we've spent in here together, we've argued and yelled and shouted, and it's exactly what my parents did when I was a little girl..."

She sits down again and she sighs.

"It wasn't _you_."

Eric sits across from her again. "Then what was it?"

"It was the uncertainty that I was facing," she explains as she wipes her nose as ladylike as she can manage. "We've had so many ups and downs...I need stability, Eric. My parents, I can't remember seeing them being affectionate toward each other. All I remember are the fights and the screaming, and I'm pretty sure that they didn't want to be like that. I'm absolutely sure that they didn't want our family to be like it was. And that's what scares me. People always have good intentions starting out, but...things can go bad. The only way to ensure that things don't go bad, is to not let it happen at all."

That is heartbreaking to him that she has come to that conclusion about her own future.

"Calleigh, pregnancy or no, a baby wasn't and isn't going to make the pain you feel over your family go away," he says. "Not letting yourself be happy isn't a solution either."

Calleigh sniffles. "I don't know...maybe I don't know what I want. But what I know for sure is that you're absolutely right. Life is too short, and...you should be happy. You deserve to be happy, so...if you feel like you're ready to see other people, then that's what you should do."

It causes her the deepest pain to say that, but the hours in this place have made it apparent to her that they are more volatile together than they appear. She's discovered that she's still learning how to be her own person, how to not let her father's imperfections and her family's dysfunction determine the rest of her life. She knows that she needs time to breathe, time to think and reflect, especially after this situation. Eric has simultaneously managed to make her laugh and make her furious over the last twelve hours, and she can no longer take this fluctuation in their relationship. It hurts too much, it brings back too many bad memories, it doesn't make her feel like they'd start their life together on a solid foundation. More than that, she is thinking about taking the position, which will be provide a springboard for her to try and move on and begin a different direction in her career.

"Since I was thinking about taking the position," she continues. "Us taking some time apart has made the possibility of leaving an easier thing to think about. For both of us."

Eric can't argue with her anymore, it's been too taxing emotionally, and he doesn't want to alienate her any further than what he has already. Calleigh has no idea how remorseful he is about the things that he's said to her, about the heated arguments. He's been confused, he's been angry and frustrated at her and he finally got the chance to express that to her. The tension has left his body, but now he feels regret because the things they've said to each other should never have been said. The words they've shouted came from the heart. It was things they were feeling, are feeling.

"You see," she says. "When I got the job offer...I figured that it was a sign, you know? I suppose it was a good thing that I wasn't pregnant. I know I've been here for years, but...too much has happened here, good and bad, and what I have-_had_ with you has changed my life. I can hold on to that, to you, in that way...but I think that it's about time that I try to move on. Like you said, when we get out of here, we should...just try to move on."

She is obviously ready to make a clean break with him whenever they are rescued from this vault, which Eric thinks will happen soon. The fact that he is irrevocably, deeply, endlessly in love with her is irrelevant now, even though he's said it to her many times, showed it in subtle ways. He won't say that she doesn't care that he loves her, but it's obviously not enough for her. Whatever wounds she carries in her heart cannot be healed by him alone. There are spaces and voids in her that he simply can't fill, there are questions she has to which he has no answers. He can't quite gage the depth of her sadness and pain that her past has caused her, and he can only imagine now the look on her face as she looked at that pregnancy test. He feels guilty for not paying closer attention to her to realize that she was off, that she wasn't feeling well.

Eric can see her now, standing in the bathroom, staring dejectedly at that negative sign, feeling what little hope for making things right within herself being snatched from her. He can see her dropping that little test that sealed their fate into the wastebasket and turning her back on it, and shaking with frustration and fatalism.

They weren't even trying to have a baby. The fact that one possibility, one test changed the entire course of their relationship angers him. Not only did she deprive him of sharing that moment with her, she's depriving him of _her_, depriving him of her by leaving.

But he will not say anything because it won't do any good.

Calleigh has her mind made up. Part of him is happy that she's considering moving up in her career. She is so devoted to the lab here that she's put her ambitions on hold. Calleigh has done some excellent and groundbreaking work in her field, and Eric has always wondered how she never considered the many job offers that have come her way over the years. She was even offered professorships at Miami-Dade, NYU, and Baylor, the latter being two of the most prestigious universities in the country. She never blinked as she turned each one of them down because she was dedicated to the Miami-Dade Crime Lab. But she deserves this, she's been groomed for this position, and, despite his anger, and despite his love for her, he thinks that she should take it.

Eric rests his head against the wall, thinking about how beautiful she'd be if it turned out that she was really pregnant. That gives him hope, that she'd wanted to be pregnant with his baby. He thinks about how happy she would have been, how she probably would have surprised him in some way, and how she would ask him if her body had changed any. Calleigh probably would start coming to terms with her family, reconnecting with her mother. He imagines that she would be reading every pregnancy magazine, book, and pamphlet she could find.

It's an entertaining thought, and he could picture no other woman in that position.

Calleigh pushes her hair behind her ears. She sees that Eric has drifted off into his thoughts, and she knows that he's probably thinking about what has transpired between them in here, or probably wondering about the moment she took the pregnancy test.

If he actually saw the utter heartbreak in her face, it would really put him in a bad place. She knows that Eric never can stand to see her deeply hurt over something, no matter what it is. He's so protective and considerate of her feelings...at least most of the time. The shots he's taken at her have hit her hard, but she knows that he's been angry at her. She knows it, even though he has been so gracious to her these past months. Probably more than she deserves. She deprived him of an intimate moment that she can never recreate, or take back. He is right; she should have let him be there. She wished so much that he'd been there, but ultimately decided that it was for the best that he didn't know.

She knows he sees it as her making all the decisions for them in their relationship, but she knows him well, intimately, down to his soul, and she knows how hard he takes some things, especially since they've been together. But for him, it would be a sad moment, but he would also have hope, he would be encouraged, it would make him want marriage, a family, a home even more, and it would propel them into a life for which she isn't quite ready. And it would have been an even harder conversation if she'd told him about the job offer. She knows that would have surely caused a separation because too many other things are more important to Eric aside from his career.

For right now, Calleigh is doing the best she can do. But above all else, Eric's happiness is what matters to her. He's secure in who he is, he can easily embrace a family life, he's ready for it and she doesn't want to be the one that makes him wait. It's not fair to expect him to wait for her to catch up with him. He needs and deserves stability too.

"My parents almost divorced," he says, breaking through the silence, and she looks at him.

"_Your_ parents?" She asks incredulously, skeptically. "Pavel and Clorinda Delko, on the verge of divorce?"

"Yeah," he says.

"Are you telling me about the talk you had with your parents?"

"Why not?" He shrugs. "I mean...a lot of other things have come out, so..."

"You know you don't have to for my sake," she reminds him. "If it's private, I respect that."

"No, I want to share this with you," he explains.

"Okay."

"After everything came out about Sharova, I was angry at my whole family," he reveals. "I didn't talk to them for a good month because I needed to make sense of it. When I finally did sit down with my parents, all I felt was hurt. All of them had been lying to me my whole life, and suddenly, I felt as if I had no identity within my own family. My mom was in tears and I let her know that I wasn't angry at her anymore, I just wanted the whole story. So she told it to me. She had an affair before we left Cuba. My dad had had already been in the States for six months. He was trying to get everything set for us when my mom got there. She was working in the factory, and she said that at that time, things weren't even going that well between her and my dad. Even before he left Cuba, things were tense."

"She said that was their lowest point. When she met Sharova, she said that he was nice to her, he bought her lunch and coffee, then they began spending time together at work. It went on for a while, then Sharova just up and disappeared on her before she could tell him that she got pregnant with me. I was the reason we stayed longer in Cuba. My mom worked up the courage to confess to my dad what had happened, and...he said that he could barely look at her..."

"_I felt strongly to leave," Pavel explained to his son. "I was angry, and I was heartbroken..."_

_Eric looked between his parents, and he watched as his father wrapped his arm around his mother's shoulders._

"_I of course still love your Mami," he said, his voice rough with emotion, his eyes reddening with unshed tears. "I love your sisters...all I could think was 'Not my child...he not my son.' The shame of it, I could not bear, your mother could not bear, your sisters could not bear. We were going to America like this?"_

_Eric sighed and tried to keep his emotions in check._

"_Why did you...how could you..._accept _me?"_

"_Because I realize then that no matter what, you are Delektorsky," Pavel said enthusiastically. "I think, your sisters are Delektorsky. Your Mami is Delektorsky, and I put my hand on Mami's belly, I feel you kick and I think, 'He is Delektorsky. He is my family. He part of us.'"_

_Clorinda reached out and touched her son's hand._

"_I am sorry that we did not tell you sooner," she said sincerely. "But, we didn't want you to feel any different growing up. You are _our_ son, mijo. We made sure to let you know that everyday. We told your sisters that you are their brother, no matter what. Hijo, the mistake was the affair, the miracle was you."_

"_You see my son, you bring us closer," Pavel explained. "Your mother give birth to you, and we come to America and it is fresh start. I scoop up water and I dripped it over the head of each child, and I say, 'Teresa, you are American. Nina, you are American. Marisol, you are American. Eric, you are American, you are my son.'"_

_Eric nodded and he sat in the living room for a long while as his parents piddled around in the kitchen. After he let their words sink in, he got up and he hugged both of his parents._

Calleigh smiles. "You're very fortunate. You're very...loved."

Eric chuckles. "Yeah...at times I would think too much, but...it was good to know that my dad wouldn't have it any other way."

She bites her bottom lip. "What...what made your dad stay with your mom? I mean, he was about to leave her for good. What made him stick with her? Was it because of you and your sisters ultimately?"

He shakes his head.

"No," he says. "Believe me, he had his mind set on leaving. He worked out the logistics and everything."

"Then what made him stay? I mean, how could he even...trust your mom again? Didn't it ever bother him to look at her or you sometimes and remember the reality of it all?"

"I'm pretty sure he did," he chuckled.

"Why put yourself through that kind of torture?" She asks incredulously. "Why did he stay?"

"Love..."

She rolls her eyes. "I figured you'd say that..."

"And forgiveness."

Calleigh looks away.

"I know you're wondering how we can just...move on," he says. "But Calleigh, none of us wanted to sacrifice a lifetime of closeness and being a family over one mistake that, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't really matter. Indulging the anger and bitterness I felt would have risked a lifetime feeling love, security, and feeling like a son. It wasn't worth it. It's _not _worth it. At some point you just have to meet people where they're at, you-you've got to let some things go so you can let other things in. It's...it's about deciding your own worth against the situation. I decided that I loved my parents, my family too much to let the fact that some guy, some _coward_ named Alexander Sharova is my biological father. I decided that I wasn't going to ever give him the satisfaction. Sharova's not a bad person, I don't think he ever really was...he was just a guy that my mom met in a factory one day."

She feels the tickle of a tear running down her cheek, and she quickly wipes it away.

_I love this man_, she thinks to herself. _I _love_ him. I'm a coward. I am such a pathetic coward. Eric is in a good place in his life. Regardless of me...but he wants me. I know how much he does. He's such an amazing, good man..._

"I know that to you it sounds like I'm oversimplifying, but...it's not that complicated, either, babe."

He thinks that she doesn't want to belong to him. It doesn't matter jack shit whether she wants to or not, she _does_ belong to him.

She inhales, then releases.

"What time is it?"

He feels a pang of disappointment.

_That's all she has to say? Asking the time?_

He looks at his watch.

"Seven AM."


	7. Seven

_Long delay because of school and such. You know how it goes. Very emotional chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

_

Need a Miracle

**Seven**

_It'd been a long, trying day at the lab, and Eric let out a sigh of relief as soon as he closed the door to his home. Catching up on paperwork and other unfinished reports was never his favorite thing to do, especially when it involved hand written work. He tended to get a little ADD if he looked at it too long. He has always been a tactile person. When he was young, he had to be working on something in order to stay focused, and in order to really learn. That's why he couldn't really get in to literature or, reading in general until he entered college. His father was a reader, and of course, wanting to follow in his father's footsteps at almost every turn, Eric picked up a book and read it every now and then. But an avid reader he was not until his early twenties._

_Even after all that'd come out about his birth, about his biological father, he found that despite all of that, he loved his _dad_. Pavel Delko was his father, the man who shaped his identity, gave Eric his name, and raised and loved him unconditionally. His dad never treated him differently, neither did his sisters. He watched his parents' marriage mature, blossom, wilt, and blossom again. His mother never strayed again, as far as Eric could tell, and his father had always been faithful throughout the marriage. What his parents had was real, the love they shared was deep and devoted. They would die for each other, if that was the case, but right now, they settled for dying _with_ each other. When he was a child, Eric remembered that his father was always the last one home, and just a couple of hours before, his mother would go upstairs to the master, change clothes, fix her hair up, and freshen up while he and his sisters set the table for dinner._

_His father would come home and greet each of them with a hug and a kiss to the forehead and his mother would come down, looking fresh, and she would always steal his father's breath away._

_Eric understood now what that feeling was as he watched Calleigh piddling around in the kitchen. In the last few months, she has made herself at home again, and the fact that she liked to clean was, and he admitted, selfishly, to his benefit. He could be a slob at times, and though she grumbled about it, she cleaned up and reminded him to do his fair share "...if this is going to work..." she said indignantly, "Then remember to pick up your socks every now and then, love." That encouraged him because she was beginning to think long term. He knew that he couldn't rush her, she'd decided to give him a second chance, and he took it gladly. Going slowly with her was his only option now._

_He knew she wasn't ready, but as he watched her, he imagined some years later, in perhaps a home they bought together, with three or four (for her sake, two or three) kids running around and creating messes, leaving unfinished homework and snacks on the table, the TV on probably cartoons, the smell of dinner heavy in the air, and Calleigh dressed down after work, and gorgeously frazzled because she wasn't the typical mom, she didn't quite yet have a handle on it, but she loved it anyway._

_To Eric, it was something he could definitely see in the future, but Calleigh was doubtful._

_But right now, as he made his way to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, he felt rather confident that if the coming months together went well, she'd come around._

"_Hey," he said as he kissed her neck._

"_Don't get too close," she drawled as she slipped out of his embrace, holding her rubber gloved hands up. "I'm all sweaty and nasty from cleaning."_

_He raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Sweaty and nasty, huh?"_

_She rolled her eyes. "Watch yourself, Mr. I-Don't-Clean often."_

_She went into the pantry and grabbed the Swiffer and handed it to him._

"_Real men Swiffer."_

_He chuckled. "You get that off a bumper sticker?"_

"_No," she said, getting on tiptoe to kiss him. "Swiffer."_

Those moments seem so long ago, and it pains him to think that he will never have moments like those with her ever again.

He doesn't want to, but he has to begin, in this very moment, to let her go. He knows Calleigh well enough to know that when she gets her heart dead set on something, she has to follow through. She has to do it because it's in her. He thinks that this job will help her blossom, he's seen the side of her he's come to know and love so much slowly fade, slowly shrink back. She hasn't been on a vacation in a long time...they didn't even take a vacation together when they were in their relationship. Perhaps it's what she needs: a change of scenery, new people, a new position that will add more opportunities to her life. In other words, a new life.

In this situation, he hasn't given her much incentive to stay, he hasn't given her a reason to believe that they would overcome this, the hurdles in their relationship, this job offer that is threatening everything now.

"When do you leave?" He asks.

"This Monday. I'm spending a few days up there. I'll be back Thursday morning."

He nods. "So...if you like what you see, and you like what the position has to offer, then your decision's final?"

Calleigh nods. "Yeah..."

Eric grins a bit. "Think you can get used to the cold?"

She chuckles. "I knew you'd ask that!"

"You're a southern girl, so it's a legitimate question."

"I think I'll have a harder time getting used to being a Northerner, than the cold," she drawls.

"You're a Southern Belle to the bone," he says.

"I know, but they do stuff differently," she complains. "But I heard the food's pretty good."

He sighs. "When are you going to tell everyone? I mean...if you decide?"

"I guess when I come back," she shrugs. "Eric...I can't...think about everyone else right now, okay? I-I just want to get through today and the next few days..."

"Are you sure that this is something you want to do?" Eric asks.

"No, I'm not sure," she says, becoming irritated. "But I'd appreciate the freedom to explore it, to-to consider it. I deserve that, don't I?"

"Of course you do," he says. "I'm just saying that this job offer came on the heels of...you finding out that you weren't pregnant, and it was obviously a very emotional thing for you. I'm just-"

"Eric, if you're trying to convince me not to go, then you're wasting your breath," she says coolly. "I want to go. I want to experience something different, I want to push my career forward. I don't want to be stuck here, in the same lab, in the same position forever! That's how people get stuck, when they let opportunities pass them by."

"Well you've most certainly got nothing tying you down," he says bitterly.

She narrows her eyes at him. "I'm done arguing with you, Eric, you hear me? I am done! I can't sit here for another second and argue with you about my life! It's _my_ life! I'm not going to let you dictate to me what you want me to do! I'm not going to-to just let you berate me and tell me what you want for me! It is _MY LIFE_!"

Eric rubs a hand over his face.

"Whatever," he sighs. "I don't want to argue with you either. You're right, it's your life, your decision. And, after all this time, if you think that my goal is to try and dictate your life, then I wonder how much it matters to you that I'm your friend first. I _want _you to be happy, I want you to find what makes you happy in your life. I wouldn't dare take that freedom from you. If anything, you're the only one that stands in your way, not me."

"You know, you have no clue what I've been going through, none, whatsoever."

"Then why don't you enlighten me? Because everything is about you, isn't it? Whatever it is, either tell me or get over it because-"

"Get over it?" She asks tearfully, her voice quavering. "Y-you want me to get over it?"

He senses that he's really hit a place inside her that she's never let him into, that she hasn't even ventured into in many years from the tone of her voice.

"Oh, okay," she sniffles as she crosses her arms over her chest. "Tell me, what exactly do you want me to get over, huh? The fact that my father, a man that I practically idolized as a little girl, is a lifelong alcoholic? Or what else...oh, the fact that my mother left me and my sister because she was too damn selfish to be a mother? Or how about about the fact that one night my father was so goddamn drunk that he came home and beat the shit out of me with an electrical cord? Do you want me to get over that? Especially when you've seen the scars, felt them? Or what about my sister not wanting me to be in her life or her children's lives because I didn't protect her, because I chose my relationship with our dad over her?"

She begins to sob. "Oh, um, how about this: you just ending up being like every other man in my life...I thought you were different, but you've turned out to be like every other man that I've opened my legs for! You've lied to me, and you've hurt me, especially since we've been in here, in ways that I never imagined you could! I let you into my heart only for you to break and stomp on it! I let you fool me, I let you make love to me, and it was all for nothing because look at where we are now! Tell me, how fucking soon should I get over that?"

Finally, finally, Calleigh is telling him what he needs to know, she is telling him why everything is on the line now. He knows he's had much to do with what's been happening to her, but everything else, she has scarcely talked about and he had no idea how much it has affected her, how big of an impact it has had on her life.

"Or how about the fact that I stood there," she cries. "Looking at that stupid test and saw the last of my..._hope_ going into the trash. You know so much, so tell me, do I need to get over that too?"

Eric swallows thickly, feeling the intensity of her hidden pain deep in his heart.

"Calleigh..."

"No! You don't get to say anything else to me!" She cries angrily. "You get to say nothing to me about any of it because you don't know! No one in my life bothered to get over what they were going through for me, so why should I get over it for you, or for anyone for that matter on your say so? You call me selfish, and you say that it's all about me...well, you know what I have to say to that, Eric? It's about damn time it's about me, that's what I say. Stop trying to fix me, stop trying to make me see things your way. Yes, I get that you have a perfect family, that you had a perfect little life and that your parents forgave each other. Yes, how peachy for you."

She calms down, and she sniffles, wiping her tears.

Silence surrounds them for a few minutes, and Eric is thankful because he's got a headache along with a bit of heartache and he is ready to get out of this vault. He needs a reprieve from the stifling emotions that have filled this space. He now just wants a moment's peace, he wants to get away from Calleigh, which is a first for him. He's sure that she wants to get away from him, she's said it several times, and he thinks that they shouldn't be acting like this, they shouldn't be saying the things they've been saying on Christmas. He almost forgot that today is Christmas, and he should be with his family, not stuck in a vault with Calleigh. It's a rather bitter thought, but she's provoked him and he's provoked her in ways that are coming to the brink of irreparability.

"If you think that my life has been perfect, then you're crazy," he says.

"Oh I'm crazy!"

"Yeah, you are," he argues. "Until I got together with you, my life was a mess, Calleigh. You say I don't have a clue, well you don't either. You have no idea how much pain I'm still in. I'm still so fucking angry at Memmo Fierro for taking a beloved sister away from me, from my family. You think my life is perfect, then yes, you're crazy because I've been through hell and back, Calleigh. Mentally, spiritually, physically, I've been through hell, and I would gladly go through it again for you."

"Stop it..."

"No...I've loved you for years, I was just too afraid to say anything at first because you were too good for an asshole like me. You didn't have time for games, and I kept my distance-"

"Eric, just stop it!"

"I have to tell you this, Cal! Let me tell you this! I fell in love with you long before I got shot...I fell in love with you when you came to Mari's funeral. You...were so beautiful, and even though I was a mess, I could see _you_ for the first time in a long time. Even though I was grieving, something switched on in my head and suddenly, I was in love with you."

Calleigh sniffles and wipes her tears.

"You've been pushing me further and further away and I don't know how much longer I can hang on to you. I can't be the only one fighting for us."

"I don't want you to hang on to me!" She yells. "Haven't you figured it out yet! I've been pushing you away because I don't want you in my life! I **don't** want you anymore! I want you to stop fighting for a relationship that was doomed from the start!"

He shakes his head. "Cal...I know that I've hurt you, and that you've been hurt, but...I know...I _know_ you don't mean that."

"I do mean it!" She says vehemently. "And believe me, as soon as I move to Chicago, I'm never gonna look back. I'm going to forget all about you and you're going to forget all about me, so you can see other people, like you want. So let's practice, shall we? While we're in here. I don't want to talk to you or argue with you or shout at you anymore. I'm done. **We're **done."

Eric nods then he rests his head against the wall.

His mother has always told him not to question God.

Well, that is easier said than done.

_I've pushed her too, too far_, he thinks to himself. _I know I shouldn't question you, but...God, why would you show me that this is the woman I'm supposed to be with only to take her away from me? I spent almost two years, begging, pleading with you to tell me she's the one, and you did. Why, if Calleigh is the woman I'm supposed to love, to marry, are you letting her run away from me? She believes in you, she's Catholic, she knows you, she prays to you when she thinks I'm not listening...all these things she's told me about...why do you let it consume her? Why haven't you healed her yet? It's obvious that I couldn't, that I can't, and I'm supposed to be the man in her life because you said so. Seriously, God...I _know_ that it wasn't my imagination...I heard you plain as day two years ago when I knelt before that altar. I know that I'm not exactly...by the book when it comes to certain things, but...I promise you I'll do better. Just...I can't let her go. I can't. Please, I'm begging you...help me. Help her._

Eric feels his love for her only deepen, and he is finding it harder and harder to face the possibility that he just might have to let her go, and for reasons that he didn't ever realize would be reasons. He can't spend his life trying to figure her out, he can't keep chasing after her when she doesn't want to be caught, he can't let her continue to blame him. Unhappiness with her is staring him right in the face, and that is the first time he's looked at it in that light. Much as he wants to be with her, he knows there's a reason that all that they've been through is keeping them apart.

He grins a bit.

Sure, God showed him, on several occasions, that Calleigh is the woman he is supposed to marry, but the catch is that God never said exactly _when_.

_Gotcha_, Eric sighs to himself. _That's the catch-22 huh? Sure, she's the love of my life, but you never said _when_ I get to spend my life with her. Really? I'm already thirty-five...I know, I know, patience...endure to the end. I got it. But you gotta admit, some of this whole catch thing is just..._wrong_. I'd really love to be happy with _this_ woman, the only woman. This blonde, Southern Belle who thinks she knows it all and is terribly stubborn. I'm in love with Calleigh, I want to be with her, I want a family with her. Please don't take her away from me._

He looks at her and sees that she is shaking, her fingers tangled into her hair and her head resting on her knees. He doesn't want her to go anywhere because it's only a matter of time before she completely unravels, and God only knows what she'll do to herself then. What will she do when she gets to Chicago? How will she cope? The weather tends to affect people's moods...she's used to humid nights, and sunny days. She will be cooped up in Chicago because she never could stand being cold. And what of her social life? Will she make new friends? How will they treat her? He's scared for her because she's leaving Miami with so much pent up anger; she's thinking about leaving with burden upon burden on her shoulders. She's not clear-headed right now, she's not herself.

And to think, all this started because of one pregnancy test.

He's not sure now if he would have made a difference in her mindset if he'd been there for that moment or not. But he might have. If she'd let him know about the possibility, if he'd been there for her to see the result, he could have held her, he could have kept those things that were bothering her at bay. He could have been her refuge, her hope.

Calleigh never gave him the chance, and he's concluded now that she didn't want to give him one. That pregnancy test was her ticket out because she already made up her mind that she didn't want to be with him anymore.

He thinks he can live with that, but he can't live with the fact that she hates him.

At first, he just thought she was angry and frustrated, but now, he thinks that she meant it. That she hates him. She hates him, and he's partly convinced that's how she must really feel, even after all they've been through because she's never told him that she loves him.

How can he love this woman?

She won't give him any clues, any hints.

He needs to know how to love her, how not to lose her because he is absolutely sure that he can't live without her. Any other woman he may come to know or be in a relationship with will have to live up to the impossible standard of Calleigh, because he can't love her fully otherwise. It simply wouldn't be fair to himself or another woman to have Calleigh between them.

He doesn't want to live his life without her.

He's told her that.

He thought that meant something, possibly everything to her.

But, perhaps it means nothing to her now.

Calleigh sniffles and continues to rest her head on her knees.

She loves him.

Grief begins to befall her because she knows that everything they've said and done has affected them, has ruined the last of what was, for the most part, a great relationship, a wonderful, fulfilling friendship. She's succeeded in her destructive, subconscious mission to push him away, to push him out of her life.

_But I love him. I'm in love with him. Madly in love with him. This love is a disease and I've fully succumbed to it. I'm in love with Eric and I'm going to be alone. He'll never know now because it's too late for both of us._

She allows herself to fall asleep with that thought in mind.

/\/\/\/\

"_Calleigh..._"

She hears her name being called ever so faintly.

"_Calleigh! Cal..."_

She feels hands on her, and she fights, trying to push them away, thinking that it is the perpetrator in her nightmare.

"CALLEIGH!"

Her head snaps up, and her eyes meet Horatio's, and she stops fighting and furrows her eyebrows, thinking that this might be an even sicker nightmare than what she previously thought.

"Calleigh...you're alright," he says.

She looks past him, and sees that Eric is not across from her any longer, that the vault is brighter, and she hears sirens, and various people talking.

"You're okay," he says, smoothing down her hair. "Sweetheart, you're okay."

She blinks her eyes as they adjust to the new brightness they've encountered, and she is weaker than she thought, dizzy from hunger and thirst, as Horatio helps her up.

"Gee," she begins, her throat dry, her voice raspy. "I must smell lovely..."

"As a rose on a dewy morn," Horatio grins as he walks her out of the vault and leads her over to a gurney and the paramedics immediately tend to her.

She looks over at Eric, and he seems to be a little better off than she, though he is guzzling a bottle of water down.

"M-my purse," she says, feeling disoriented. "I left my purse..."

"We've got it, ma'am," Horatio says.

She looks at Eric again, and he is rubbing his eyes.

Her heart is pounding, the blood rushing in her ears, and she feels the grief within her deepen. She's leaving on Monday, to explore a whole new city, a whole new life because she doesn't need Eric anymore.

_I have to make things right._

Her chest tightens, and she feels dizzier, and she is nauseous, heartbroken, anxious, and feeling like hell because she feels like she's just gotten a taste of it for the last twenty hours.

She _is_ going to leave for Chicago.

She is going to take that position and leave Miami behind.

"I-I left my purse," she repeats. "My purse...and my shoes..."

"We've got it, sweetheart," Horatio says.

Eric looks over at Calleigh, and he sees that her eyes have glazed over a bit, that she is almost in a state of shock as the paramedics inspect her as much as she will allow. Her face is turning red, and he gets up, immediately wanting to help her. She's being gripped by another anxiety attack.

"Calleigh," Eric calls to her, and she doesn't respond.

The paramedics move into action because her blood pressure is high, from the attack, and she is already weak from not having anything to eat or drink for hours and hours. Her glucose level must be atrocious. Eric thinks that this shouldn't be happening to her, but he forgets, her body is small, and the lung disease she contracted has weakened her system significantly. She is prone to more things that she hadn't been prone to before, like immune problems, making her susceptible to bronchitis, coughs, the flu, colds, allergies...her whole body chemistry has changed so this current trauma will most certainly have an effect on her.

Also, the emotional toll has impacted her as well.

He watches as she passes out, his worry now through the roof, and the paramedics get her fully onto the gurney, looking for a suitable vein for an IV, and an oxygen mask is placed on her.

He needs to be with her.

He tries to get up, but Horatio puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Eric, I need you to stay here," Horatio says.

"I have to go with Calleigh, H," Eric says. "She...I need to be with her."

"I know, and you will be soon," Horatio assures. "But right now, we need to talk to you about what happened, alright? She's going to be fine, I'm sure of it, Eric."

Eric nods. "H...how did you find us?"

"The state patrol found Calleigh's car abandoned by the side of the road near the Causeway late last night. There was a body in the passenger side. Single gunshot wound to the head."

Eric sighs. "I bet that left a huge mess. Cal's not gonna like that her car's a crime scene."

"No, she won't," Horatio grins a bit. "We worked as fast as we could on the ballistics and traced it back to a Ruger and..."

"It was registered," Eric grins. "That dumb-ass."

"Yes, an accurate description brother," Horatio concurs. "Walter and Natalia ended up at the address of an old girlfriend of our deceased Kyle Larson, who was waffling about calling in the robbery. She gave up Montell Jackson and Belinda Montoya upon the news that her former boyfriend was brutally murdered. She relayed to us that Kyle divulged that they left two unarmed cops in the vault."

"Did you find Jackson?"

"Not yet," Horatio says. "We think that he's a state ahead of law enforcement, but we'll get him, Eric."

"Calleigh's going to be so pissed about her car."

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine...starving, and thirsty, but fine. H, I-I need to see Cal.

"How did you two hold up in there?" Horatio asks.

"Okay," Eric lies. "Cal had a couple of anxiety attacks, but otherwise...it was rather boring, aside from the periodic listens to her iPod."

"I'm glad you and Calleigh are alright," Horatio says. "Merry Christmas, brother."

"Merry Christmas, H."


	8. Eight

_Sorry for the very long delay on this story! It's almost to the end. Enjoy._

* * *

Need a Miracle

**Eight**

Calleigh sighs as she lets the nurse check her blood pressure and blood sugar levels. It is late in the afternoon, almost three o'clock, and she is just ready to go home and spend the rest of this miserable Christmas alone. She woke up in the ambulance, and she felt more exhausted. She ate a bit, and that helped with the dizziness and it certainly helped to calm her nerves. Eric came by to see her when he arrived, and it was awkward at best, cold at least. They barely spoke, she could barely look at him, and she knew deep within her that she needed to take the first step of trying to salvage their friendship, but her pride got in the way; and she felt more indignant and justified than ever.

They survived, but she feels bruised, she feels pain, she feels empty and out of options. She's always known the destructive power of words when spoken with bitterness and anger. Those formulated in her heart out of a place of utter confusion and fury about things that she's held deep within her. She didn't realize just how potent her anger was until she and Eric allowed themselves to devolve into the type of relationship her own parents had. Calleigh remembers her father's frustration at her mother's flightiness and inability to adjust to motherhood, and her mother's frustration over her father's increasingly problematic drinking which led to loud arguments and things being thrown, doors being slammed and sometimes...

Calleigh closes her eyes.

She heard the slaps, saw the shoves...she and her sister would cuddle up together, each with their rosary beads and pray fervently, profusely for hours, even after silence settled.

She loves her father deeply still, a just as she did as a child, and that always confused her, and her mother and sister. Calleigh worshipped the very ground her father walked on, she sat with him in his study and read books about the law, learned about the various offenses her own father had committed behind closed doors. Her love for him did not change, even after the night he laid hands on her.

She feels numb to it all now.

She just wants to go home.

Calleigh decides that she has more pressing matters to think about, like the fact that her car is a crime scene. Natalia has offered to drive her home, so that had been a quick solution, but the job offer is still hanging out there, the plane ticket is still resting on her bedside table.

"Alright Ms. Duquesne," the nurse says with a smile. "You're doing well, and once the doctor comes in to see you, you should be on your way."

"Thanks," Calleigh says.

After a few minutes, Natalia comes in.

"Hey, how are you holding up?" Natalia asks.

"I'm fine."

Natalia sees the fatigue in Calleigh's face, and more than that, she looks completely drained physically and emotionally. Eric had been in the same state, and Natalia wonders just what happened between the two of them because neither has asked about the other, and they both have the same look of resignation on their faces.

Something went wrong in that vault.

Natalia crosses her arms over her chest. "Can you give me a real answer?"

"Nat, I said I'm fine," Calleigh insists with a slight smile. "I'm just ready to go home."

The doctor comes in, and he explains things that Calleigh doesn't pay attention to, then she signs the paperwork and then she and Natalia begin to head out.

"By the way, I don't know if H told you but..."

"My car's a crime scene," Calleigh sighs. "I know. The cherry to top this perfect Christmas."

They get into Natalia's car, and Calleigh crosses her arms over her chest.

"I'm so sorry about what happened," Natalia says. "I mean...leave it to you and Eric to land yourselves in a situation like that."

"Well, it's over now," Calleigh grins. "And I'm happy that things weren't as bad as they could have been. Anyway, how was your Christmas party?"

Natalia smiles. "It was so much fun! The gift exchange went well."

"Hmm, I don't doubt that," Calleigh smirks.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Natalia asks with a grin.

"Every year you and Ryan rig that damn thing," Calleigh chuckles a bit. "And poor Eric only ever gets gift cards for restaurants he doesn't even like."

"It's not rigged," Natalia says indignantly. "I don't cheat. I'm not a cheater."

"In the words of Alexx: 'Mmmhmm, okay baby,'" Calleigh says with some attitude like Alexx used to.

Natalia laughs. "God, I miss her."

"Me too."

Natalia sighs. "Cal...I know that you and Eric are...going through a thing right now."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"You haven't even asked about him."

"Okay, how's he doing?"

Natalia shakes her head. "Forget it, Calleigh."

"Nat, just tell me-"

"No," Natalia says. "You are so damn stubborn, you know that?"

"I didn't ask for a running commentary about what happened."

"Everybody loves you," Natalia says. "And everybody cares about you. I-I get that you've been hurt more times than you deserve, but...you don't think it hurts me, and Ryan, and especially H and everyone else we're close to to see you becoming like a hermit and not talking to any of us? We don't deserve that."

Calleigh looks at her friend. "Natalia...I-I wasn't trying to make you feel that way...oh sweetie...I love you too. You know I do. You're like a sister to me. Y'all are family to me."

"I know, I just wish that you'd...open up," Natalia says. "You can't...keep it all inside, you know? I mean, when I was going through everything with Nick...you remember how hard I tried to hide it, and that was difficult for me because I'm an emotional person. I don't have a poker face, though hanging around H has certainly helped me improve...to the better."

Calleigh grins.

"You're like a sister to me," Natalia says. "And you can talk to me."

"I know," Calleigh says. "You can talk to me..."

"Of course I can," Natalia smiles.

They arrive at Calleigh's home, and Natalia pulls into the driveway.

"You're home."

"Thanks, sweetie."

"No problem," Natalia says, hugging her friend. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will," Calleigh says.

"Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," Calleigh says, then she gets out of the car. She waves to Natalia then she walks up to her door and goes inside.

Once inside, she sighs, leaning up against the door.

She doesn't know what to do to make up for what is left of Christmas Day.

She hasn't even decorated this year, and it makes her even more depressed and angry.

Why did she say what she did to him?

Why did she ruin her own happiness?

Stubborn pride.

Hopelessness.

Fear.

Anger.

Rage...

Her chest is tight and she stalks over to her kitchen and she opens up a cabinet. It contains coffee mugs and she grabs one and hurls it across the kitchen against the back door. She throws one after another until she can't reach any more to grab.

She is sobbing and she rubs her hands over her face then she drops them to her sides, sobbing uncontrollably.

She is shaking with fury and her hands form fists as she releases a scream.

/\/\/\/\

Eric had Horatio drop him at his parents' house, and as soon as they pulled up, Eric's mother came rushing out, in tears and she knocked the wind out of him as she hugged him and kissed his cheeks.

"_Mijo_," she repeated over and over. "_Mijo_."

Horatio stayed for a few minutes, shook Pavel's hand, hugged Clorinda before going on his way.

Eric was then greeted by his sisters, who were also in tears.

Turns out, they all knew something was wrong, they felt it, and when they saw that both he and Calleigh were missing, they all waited with bated breath to hear that he was okay. He was okay, and that's all he could manage for a while. Everyone was asking him questions and he could barely get a word in edgewise.

His mother fed him to his heart's content, though.

He'd been much hungrier than he anticipated.

Once he finished eating, the tiredness and the utter sadness he felt consumed him and he retreated upstairs and first showered and changed into a fresh shirt before going into his father's study.

He is still in here, trying to make sense of all that's happened, all that was said.

Eric is completely crushed, discouraged, and hurt. His heart is clenching and twisting with pain.

He rubs his hands over his face, then he sighs.

She is going to Chicago.

He knows that Calleigh will take the position out of spite, but he knows how unhappy she will be up there. She doesn't like change, that's the problem, even a welcome one. She doesn't like the cold, she doesn't like unpredictability. She has a routine here, friends, family...she's just using it as an excuse to run away from everything and everyone because of things that she hasn't yet found the courage to let go of yet. It doesn't surprise him that her father abused her physically at times, that's what happens in a family with an alcoholic. Eric bets that Duke doesn't even know he hurt her like that. And her sister...she made Calleigh responsible for their father, made her take the strikes for his sins and kept her from her life.

That makes sense because Calleigh never talks about or to her sister, Savannah, who lives in Georgia.

Eric has lost a sister, and to not be able to see or talk to Mari face to face ever again hurts him deeply. So for two sisters to voluntarily avoid that relationship, he now is beginning to understand Calleigh's pain, and it _fucking_. _Hurts_. The more he thinks about her tears, her anger, her bitterness, the more he identifies with her pain.

He wonders if she can relate to his.

"Eric."

Eric looks up and sees his father.

"How are you, my son?" He asks as he sits in the chair across from Eric.

The chess table is between them.

"You want match?"

"Sure," Eric says with a slight grin.

Eric makes the first move.

"Hm, good," Pavel comments. "So...how is Calleigh?"

Eric always chuckles a bit at the way his father says Calleigh's name. He splits the syllables in her name apart, so it sounds like two names: _Cal-Leigh_. Sometimes, it sounds like _Cuh-Leigh. _

"She's okay," Eric explains, waiting for Pavel to make a move. "She had a couple panic attacks, but overall, she's fine."

"Why you not invite her here?" Pavel asks as he moves.

"She wanted to go home."

Eric moves.

"Hm," Pavel says shortly. "Too quick, my boy."

"Papi, I've had that move in my head for the last ten minutes," Eric chuckles. "You're taking longer than usual. Вы становитесь ржавыми, Папа."

"Я только имею вашу мать, чтобы обвинить."

"Why are you blaming mom?"

"She won't play with me," Pavel explains. "Your sisters never want to learn. I-I been playing so much by myself, I start to cheat."

Eric laughs. "That's pretty sad, Papi."

"Calleigh is good," Pavel says. "Why she not around much?"

"Work," Eric shrugs.

"Не лгите мне, сыну," Pavel says firmly.

Eric looks at his father. "Я не лежу."

"Да Вы, Вы говорите мне правду прямо сейчас, Eric."

"Calleigh and I broke up," he says. "I mean...now we're broken up. Before it was just a break, but now it's officially a breakup. Things went wrong, Papi, and I don't know how to fix it...I...I'm in love with her."

"Have you told her?"

"Yes, but...she doesn't want anything to do with me," Eric explains. "She...when we were in the vault, she told me that she hated me."

"She was probably just angry, _hijo_."

"No, it was different," Eric says. "She was...there was something different in her eyes when she said it."

Pavel makes his move.

"That is too bad. I really liked her. She make you very happy, I can see it in your eyes, how happy she make you."

"She does make me happy," Eric sighs. "But the things we said to each other inside that vault. I've hurt her, she's hurt me. Everything went bad because she thought she was pregnant."

Pavel looks at his son.

"Is she?"

"No," Eric says, the disappointment etching in his face. "She didn't even tell me. She found out the result by herself. Calleigh's been through a lot, and that's what did it. I didn't realize how angry she is at everything, not just me."

Pavel watches as his son makes another move, and Pavel quickly captures his piece.

Eric rubs a hand over his face.

"I love her so much. And now she's going to Chicago for a job offer, that I know she's gonna take..."

"You must stop her," Pavel says with a sound of urgency in his voice. "You cannot let her go when things are like this."

"I need to," Eric says, frowning at getting captured again. "I have to. Calleigh is so unhappy...she needs a change of scenery. New people. New life."

Pavel raises an eyebrow at his son. "I did not raise you to be a coward."

"Dad-"

"Listen. You spent over seventeen hours in that vault with Calleigh and I know you said some things to her and she said some things to you. The time is now to make things right, to settle once and for all what you both want to do. I-I cannot stand to see you like this, Eric. Every time you come over you mope around and I know how much your heart hurts."

Eric looks away.

"You say you are in love, then don't let her get away again, Eric. Do right by her and by yourself."

Eric nods and makes his next move.

/\/\/\/\

Natalia pours two cups of tea, then she takes them over to the living room where Calleigh is resting.

"Here you go," Natalia says, handing a mug to Calleigh.

"Thanks."

"I'm glad you had some mugs left," Natalia teases, referring to the mess she found when she came back.

Natalia was halfway down the street when she saw that Calleigh left her jacket in the car. She turned around and went back to the house. When she walked up to the door, she heard crying within, and she pounded on the door, begging entry, but Calleigh would not come, so she took out the spare key Calleigh had told her was hidden under one of her plants, and opened the door.

The state she found Calleigh in was saddening and scary.

Calleigh was sitting on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably, and there was broken ceramic all over the floor. Calleigh refused to get up, she was too distraught and angry to do anything, so for two hours, Natalia just sat with her, letting Calleigh cry herself out. Once she did, Natalia helped her up, and she told Calleigh to take a shower, change and get some sleep.

Calleigh did everything else except sleep, she felt too worried and sick to sleep.

Natalia being with her right now is a comfort because she's never felt more lonely in her life. After what she's been through in the last seventeen hours, spending Christmas alone would have just made things worse for her, made things more real.

Natalia is a good friend to her; she cleaned up the mess of mugs, ordered some dinner, and made her some tea.

"Nat, I'm fine now," Calleigh says. "You really should be with your family."

"You are my family," Natalia says before sipping at her tea.

Calleigh is touched by that, and her bruised, raw emotions cause her heart to clench and tears come springing from her eyes again.

"Calleigh..."

"I'm sorry," Calleigh apologizes, sniffling.

"Don't be," Natalia says, rubbing her friends back. "What happened in that vault, Calleigh?"

"Everything, and nothing!" Calleigh sobs, shaking. "God...I messed up! I messed everything up! And I'm stupid, I'm so stupid!"

"Don't say that."

"I am!" Calleigh yells, standing up. "I-I screwed everything up and I don't know how to fix it!"

"You can start by talking to someone," Natalia says. "Start by talking to me. Stop trying to be brave all the time, Cal. Sometimes you need some help. I just want to help you because I don't want to see you in pain."

"I deserve this," Calleigh cries. "After what I've said, I deserve this."

Natalia is scared for her friend, who is trembling, pacing, crying and saying that she deserves this. Calleigh has held everything inside her for so long that whatever happened when she and Eric were trapped in that vault, forced it out. She is on the verge of a breakdown, and Natalia doesn't want to see that happen.

"You don't deserve this," Natalia says. "C'mon, sit down and just talk it out."

Calleigh sits down and she sniffles.

"I ruined everything," she says in a shaky voice. "Eric and I argued about everything in that damn vault, and...he didn't hurt me nearly as much as I hurt him. I told Eric that I h-hated him, and that's not true. I was just so angry because he wouldn't listen to me. We wouldn't listen to each other."

She begins to cry again.

"He's never going to forgive me," she frets. "I pushed him too far...he's never going to forgive me."

"That's not true," Natalia says. "Just talk to Eric, honey. You two need to really talk now because whatever happened in there, it's going to truly ruin things if you don't talk about it. I've never seen two people who are so in love test fate the way you two have."

Calleigh shakes her head. "It's not fate...it's me. You don't know what it's been like lately..."

"You feel hopeless?"

Calleigh nods.

"And...some days you're just too tired to get out of bed?"

Again, Calleigh nods, then she looks at Natalia. "There's something wrong with me, isn't there?"

"No honey, there's nothing wrong with you," Natalia says, smoothing over Calleigh's hair. "Everyone goes through this sometimes, Cal. You feel sometimes the world is going to collapse on you, and then there are some days when...when you just can't stop crying?"

"Yeah."

"I've been there," Natalia says. "And I got some help. You need to get some help Calleigh, okay? I'm not saying this to be mean, but...I've been watching you, and you haven't been yourself. You're not good right now. This isn't good for you. You threw over half your coffee mugs against the back door. You need to get some help. Professional help."

Calleigh nods. "Okay."

The women hug, and Calleigh is grateful to have somebody right now.

"Everything's going to be okay, Cal," Natalia promises. "Things will get better."

Calleigh nods and holds on.


	9. Nine

Need A Miracle

**Nine**

The house is crowded again for New Year's Eve. Eric is glad to be surrounded by his family again because the last week has been extremely difficult for him because he's been trying to call Calleigh to see if she made it to Chicago alright, to see how she was doing, but she hasn't answered her phone, and he thinks he may have left a dozen or so messages.

He doesn't even know if she got back alright, now that he thinks about it because she was supposed to be back yesterday. Today is Friday, and he has no idea if she's even back in town. Almost every night this week since the incident in the vault, he's had nightmares of her, just crying, of her retreating from him, of her dying in his arms. He is tired because those images haven't allowed him to rest at all. He has been so worried about Calleigh he doesn't know what to do, but being with his family is taking her off his mind.

He knows he's getting old because he can't run after his nieces and nephew like he used to.

"You know what, I think I need a break you guys," Eric says, getting up off of the grass. "_Tio_ Eric needs some rest."

"Aww!" His nephew, Benjamin groans.

The kid just tackled him, and he expects Eric to go another round of flag football?

"You guys keep playing," Eric says as he goes inside the house.

He sees his mother and sisters cooking.

"I told you they're a handful," Nina says.

"Yeah, when did Benny get so strong?"

"Uh since his dad started him in wrestling," Nina explains.

"He almost took out my shoulder," Eric complains.

"That's _mi hijo_," Nina says proudly.

Eric flexes his shoulder.

"You big baby," Teresa says.

"Actually, he's getting old," Nina giggles.

"Yeah my bones are aching," he jokes.

"Ugh, _mijo_ you smell like a wet puppy dog," Clorinda says, pushing him out of the kitchen. "Go upstairs and freshen up, dinner's almost ready, _hijo_."

Eric finds his father and brothers in law in the living room, chatting.

"You wanna go outside and play with your kids, Benny? Paul?"

"Did BJ tackle you?" Nina's husband, Benjamin Sr. asks.

"Yeah, the kid's a freight train," Eric says.

"That's my boy," Benny grins. "He'll be a champion yet."

"Come and sit with us," Pavel invites his son, waving him over.

"I will, but Ma wants me to freshen up," Eric sighs. "Dinner's almost ready by the way."

"When you come down, join us," Pavel encourages his son.

Eric nods then goes upstairs.

Pavel has been worried about Eric for some time now. He sees the heartache in Eric's eyes, and he doesn't know how to remedy that. As a father, he doesn't like to see any of his children hurting for any reason. After losing Marisol, their family wasn't the same, and it nearly broke him inside to see his remaining children in the deepest pain. Eric took Marisol's death the hardest he thinks, mainly because they were so close growing up. They were three years apart, but they had a bond that ran deep. They were thick as thieves as children, while Nina and Teresa bossed them around. Eric and Teresa always got into it, even today as adults, they still bicker like children.

As a family, they've been through so many ups and downs, and Pavel thinks it has made them stronger. All he wants is for his children to be happy, especially Eric.

He's been through so much in the last few years because of his job, and Pavel has twice watched his son almost die. But Eric is healthy and strong again, and he deserves happiness. For a while, the only bright spot in his life was Calleigh. Pavel could tell that Eric couldn't stop thinking about her a few months after he was shot the first time. Calleigh helped him tremendously a work, and Eric never took her for granted. For months, all Eric talked about was Calleigh.

When they began their relationship, and Eric introduced Calleigh as his girlfriend, Pavel was thrilled. Calleigh is beautiful, so generous, and loving. He thinks her Southern roots have much to do with that. She made Eric happy, and Pavel thought that they would make it.

Perhaps it was too intense for them to handle, as his wife hinted at one point. She was worried that Eric's feelings were deeper than Calleigh's, and Pavel didn't want to hear of it. But with all the ups and downs, their job, and other things, Pavel thinks that it might just be true. He knows that his son is in love, has been in love with Calleigh for a long time, longer than he previously believed.

Pavel knew something went wrong again when Calleigh stopped coming over with Eric. There was always some excuse, either work, or she wasn't feeling well, or some other nonsense to cover up the fact that they'd broken up again.

Does he feel any bitterness toward Calleigh?

No.

He is not one to hold a grudge.

But he can't say the same for his wife and two daughters. They see Calleigh as the woman who broke Eric's heart.

Oh, they know too.

Eric is, and always has been, a horrible liar. The boy couldn't tell a lie if it meant life or death. Eric is honest to a fault so they knew the first time that he was lying about his relationship.

Pavel doesn't know how to take away the pain Eric is obviously feeling, and that angers him. He can't fix everything, but he wishes that he can, for Eric's sake.

The doorbell rings and Pavel gets up to answer the door.

Upstairs, Eric washes his face off then he grabs a paper towel and dries his face.

He grabs the fresh shirt he got from the closet in one of the guest rooms. His father had more shirts than what he knew what to do with them, so his mother put their older clothes in other closets. Eric and his father are about the same size, so he grabbed a plain black shirt.

He pulls it on and buttons it up before he opens the door and heads downstairs.

He stops two steps from the landing, his heart pounding in his chest.

"Calleigh," Eric says.

She is sitting on the couch next to Benny, and she grins slightly, waving.

"Hi," she greets him quietly.

He comes down the steps and he looks at his father before looking back at Calleigh.

"W-what are you doing here?"

She stands up.

"I um...I got your messages," she smiles softly. "I'm sorry I didn't call you back. I was going to call ahead of time, but, I just drove here. I-I came to talk-"

"Calleigh!" Clorinda exclaims excitedly as she bum rushes Calleigh and gives her a tight hug. "Oh we've missed you!"

"I've missed y'all too," she smiles as she pulls away.

"Oh, just as beautiful as ever," Clorinda marvels. "You're just in time for dinner."

"That sounds great, but I don't want to impose," Calleigh says. "I actually came to talk to Eric-"

"After you've had some dinner," Clorinda insists. "You look in need of a good meal. Come."

Clorinda hooks her arm in Calleigh's and the women go into the kitchen.

Pavel stands up, clapping his hand on his son's back. "Looks like you won't be getting her back for a while."

Eric sighs and goes into the dining room with his father.

Calleigh helped with the rest of the cooking as much as Eric's sisters would allow, and then she set the table with Eric, and she could only manage a small grin every time their eyes met. He was holding back, she could tell, and for the first time ever, she could not read him. She felt lost, still feels lost as they all sit down to dinner at the large dining room table.

Everyone bows their heads and Pavel says a quick prayer over the food before everyone begins to eat.

"I'm so glad you're here, Calleigh," Clorinda says. "I was just thinking about you. I was so worried when you and Eric were missing. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Calleigh says. "I've been through worse."

"Well, I am just so happy to see you," Clorinda smiles.

They all eat dinner and there is chatter going on among them and the children sitting at the kitchen table. Calleigh just listens, just soaks it all in, and Eric meets her eyes again before he diverts his eyes to his sister when she asks him something. Calleigh has no idea what he must be thinking right now, and she feels like she's intruded on them. She feels as though she's intruded upon _him_ and that makes her feel so low.

She was on a drive, just driving around to clear her thoughts, and she subconsciously made it to the Delkos' house. She came because there is so much she needs to talk about, there are things she needs to tell Eric before it's too late, before the damage becomes irreparable.

To distract herself from Eric, she stuffs herself with brisket and tortillas, drinks the sweet wine, allows her senses to just take over as she fills her stomach with spicy mac and cheese, corn, and vegetables. Everything is good, and for the first time in months, she feels full, whole. It is warm, her body is warm, and she sits back in her chair, savoring the coziness. And to think, she was ready to leave this behind. She'd forgotten everything, every feeling, every savory flavor of a Delko family dinner.

Clorinda tries to feed her more, but Calleigh is so full, almost miserably so.

"I'm stuffed," Calleigh insists. "That was delicious. Thank you."

Eric finishes the last of his plate, then he sighs.

"That was great, Ma," he says.

Everyone else agrees.

Eric looks at Calleigh again, and she looks beautiful, as always, but she also looks different. She looks as though she's come to some sort of closure about things, she looks rather content, more content than he's seen in a long while.

After a decadent dessert of chocolate cake, Calleigh gets up and helps to clear the table.

Eric gets up and leaves the dining room, suddenly angry, and he goes upstairs.

Calleigh sighs as she goes into the kitchen.

Clorinda can see how lovelorn the two of them have been all night, and her heart goes out to them. She loves Calleigh, of course she does, but she can't help but feel a tad bit angry at her. Eric has been so sad lately, and she knew that it was because something happened between him and Calleigh. She's known from the start that Calleigh wasn't as committed as Eric. She just knew, and she doesn't know if it's because of something in her past or if she's just afraid, but she knows that she's hurt Eric deeply.

Whatever happened in that vault seemed to make things worse.

Calleigh had a look of both resolve and guilt on her face, in her countenance, and it's about time that they talked.

"Calleigh," Clorinda says, gently taking the plates from Calleigh. "Go talk to Eric."

"I-I don't know," Calleigh hesitates. "He looked pretty angry...maybe I should just go..."

"No!" Nina interjects angrily. "You're not going anywhere, Calleigh."

Calleigh is taken aback by Nina's tone.

"Do you have any idea how much pain my brother has been in because of you?"

"Nina!" Teresa hisses.

"No, I need to say this," Nina says. "Now, I'll admit that I don't like you much, but out of respect for Eric, I've learned to live with you. But you know what pisses me off about you?"

Calleigh braces herself.

"What pisses me off about you is the fact that you act like the relationship is a game," Nina says. "You leave then come back, then you leave again and come back...this isn't a game, Calleigh, this is my brother's heart. This is Eric's _life_, and you're playing with it so cavalierly. I'm not saying that Eric is perfect, but at least he has the decency to try. He took a big risk with you, and now he's not even sure if it was worth it."

Calleigh feels the tears welling in her eyes.

Does Eric regret taking a chance on her? Does he regret _her_?

"And then you have the nerve to show up here and pretend like everything's like it used to be only to want to leave? No...that's not going to happen. Whatever is wrong between you two, you need to work it out. You said you came over to talk, so go up there and talk to him. Don't be such a coward, Calleigh."

Calleigh can only respond with a nod.

She's known from the start that Nina and Teresa didn't like her, but Nina telling her off doesn't feel good at all. Being called a coward hurts because she likes to think that she's brave, but maybe her bravery was cowardice in disguise when it comes to relationships.

She goes out of the kitchen and heads upstairs, escaping Nina's sharp words.

"Eric?" She calls as she walks down the hallway.

She sees him in what used to be his old bedroom, but is now one of many guest rooms.

He is sitting on the bed, resting his elbows on his knees, his head down.

She knocks softly on the half open door.

Eric looks up at her, and he stands up, coming over to the door.

"Calleigh, I can't talk to you right now," he says.

"Please," she almost begs. "Please...I really need to talk to you. Please."

He steps aside and gestures for her to come in.

She comes in and closes the door softly behind her.

Eric looks at her expectantly. "So?"

"I um..." She begins in a shaky voice. "I..."

Calleigh feels the pain bubbling up inside her and her face falls as the tears come. She sniffles and covers her face as she begins to sob.

Eric feels his heart clench with sadness at her tears and he steps closer to her.

"Calleigh..."

She wipes her tears and looks at him.

"I'm so sorry," she cries. "I am so, so sorry."

Calleigh gets down on her knees. "Please...forgive me for the things that I said and did to you. I don't hate you. In fact, I love you. I love you deeply, and I'm sorry for making you think that it was just you. It was me, too. Please, forgive me because I'm in love with you. I need your forgiveness because I need you. Just please...forgive me."

He comes over to her and he helps her up and brings her into his arms.

/\/\/\/\

"How was Chicago?" He asks, gently pushing a lock of hair from her face.

After she cried herself out, they laid down together on the bed, facing each other.

She sighs and scoots closer to him.

"I didn't go," she admits, and he looks at her incredulously.

"You didn't go?" He asks. "Why not?"

She sighs. "I didn't want to go. I couldn't go because I knew that I'd stay."

"You would have stayed?"

"Mmhm," she answers. "I couldn't leave, not with everything that happened between us. And more than that, I was...I am a mess."

"No you're not," he says.

"Yes I am," she insists, a tear escaping. "Eric...I hate that you weren't there with me when I found out I wasn't pregnant. I've been thinking a lot about us and...I've been terribly selfish."

"We've both been selfish," he admits.

"No, it's me," she says. "Being stuck in that vault made me face things I didn't want to face. I said those awful things because I was angry about other things."

"I'm sorry that I said what I did," he apologizes. "I-I didn't mean to hurt you so badly. I hate that I hurt you so much when I should have been there for you."

"You're always there for me," she reminds him. "Always. I just don't see that sometimes."

They rest quietly for a few moments, just listening to the murmur of conversations downstairs and the kids playing.

Calleigh feels so much warmth inside her, and she feels a comfort that she's been in desperate need of. Being in Eric's arms again feels so good, and she doesn't ever want to leave his embrace. He makes her feel safe.

"What have you been angry about?" He asks.

"Different things," she explains. "My dad, my sister...being alone."

"But that's the thing," he begins. "You don't have to be alone, babe. I'm here and I love you. I love you Calleigh, you've got to start believing that."

She does believe it, she always has believed it. Calleigh knows how much Eric loves her, but she's taken it all for granted, and that's what led to her the place she's been in the last few months. Her heart has been aching, she's been in as much pain as Eric, and she decided on the way here that she didn't want to feel that pain anymore. She wants nothing more now than to stay wrapped up in Eric's arms forever because he is her protection from the things that are pulling her away from him.

"I wanted to be pregnant so badly," Calleigh whispers tearfully. "I was so happy, Eric. I was so happy with you and...I ruined it."

Eric holds her closer. "Stop blaming yourself, Calleigh."

"But I do," she cries. "I blame myself for everything because all you did was love me. I hate that I made you feel guilty about that. Nina was right, I have been so cavalier with your heart and for that I'm sorry."

Eric gently wipes her tears then he kisses her forehead.

He is glad that she is talking to him, really talking to him for the first time in months. He wants to know how he can help her overcome the anger and guilt she feels, he wants to be there for her when she digs deeper into her past. He knows that her father has abused her, he's known that for a long time, but she still loves her daddy and respects him despite the mistakes he made with her when she was a little girl. Calleigh had to be the adult, and Eric thinks that it's unfair of her sister to make her choose. Of course she's going to choose her father because she loves him, and of course she's going to want to choose her sister because she loves her too. But her sister obviously wants nothing to do with Calleigh, and that hurts.

"I blame myself for so many things," Calleigh sobs. "I've just...I lost the ability to think about the positives. God, I wanted the baby to be. But that damn test...it brought back everything."

"What is it?" He asks insistently. "What happened to you?"

She sniffles. "I...I was molested."

"Oh Cal..."

"It went on for three years," she says, closing her eyes.

"Y-your dad?"

"No, no," she shakes her head. "Daddy wouldn't do that to me or Savannah. No...it was a family friend that came to live with us. Uncle Hollis and his wife Nell. Lost their house in a fire. Daddy wanted them to move in because we had the space. They never did get back on their feet after the fire, so they officially lived with us for a while. It started when I was twelve."

Eric doesn't know what to do or say suddenly, and he just holds her tighter.

"Did you tell anyone?"

She shakes her head.

"Baby..."

"I couldn't," she cries. "I was twelve...I was growin' up and developing-"

"Don't you dare blame yourself," he says. "Babe...he was a predator. You had nothing to do with his perversion."

Eric kisses her softly, then he hugs her and she cries onto his shoulder.

"H-He touched me everywhere, and he made me do things to him," she sobs. "I felt so dirty and alone!"

He can't imagine the hell she lived in for three years of her young life.

Between her father's alcoholism and her uncle victimizing her, Calleigh had nowhere to turn. Add the fact that her mother left her early on, and the combination isn't good. She's carried this into adulthood, and one little test drew it all out of her darkest memory.

"When I looked at that test, I thought that I was getting what I deserve," she cries. "How can I possibly bring a child into this world knowing what I went through? My own mother left us, what's to say I won't do the same? What if something like what happened to me happens to our child?"

"_Carina_ all these what ifs will drive you crazy..."

"I don't care," she sobs. "It could happen, and I know firsthand that you can't ever take it back! I have to live with what happened to me!"

"I love you," he says softly. "I'm gonna help you get through this, okay?"

"No amount of love can make it go away," she cries.

"Maybe not go away, but at least I can help you heal," he says. "You've got to trust me, Calleigh."

"I trust you," she says.

"We're going to get you some help," he says, caressing her cheek. "I know a good therapist. We can go together. I'm going to learn how to help you, and we're going to get you better, okay?"

Calleigh nods.

"You know he's still living," she says bitterly. "He and my dad are still best friends. Before I left for college, he would come around. And you know what's crazy? I would bring him drinks, I once served him breakfast, just the way he liked it...how stupid was that?"

"It's not stupid," he says. "You were afraid of him."

"To this day, he still scares me," she says in a trembling voice. "And there are times when I'm dreaming and it's so real. I can...feel his breath, I can feel his hands...taste him...he _terrifies_ me."

"I'll protect you," Eric assures.

Calleigh cries into his shoulder as he holds her.


End file.
